Monthly Archives: May 2014

Bad Bridesmaid Dresses #TBT

In honor of Throw Back Thursday, here are a selection of bridesmaid dresses which in retrospect may not have been such a good choice.

1. Cuz nothing says metallic like the 80s.

Battle of the Bridesmaids

 

 

 

 

 

Bill Murray Crashes Bachelor Party, Offers Advice

I’ve heard of Bill Murray’s surprise exploits, like when he stole a Wendy’s french fry from a imagesguy and subsequently told him, “Nobody’s going to believe you.” And I’m secretly hoping, that I too, bump into him somewhere wondering into a hipster party in Brooklyn.

A bachelor party of Boston College graduates in Charleston, North Carolina had such luck though. Watch it here.

Murray offered this sage advice to the groom before quickly disappearing, “If you have someone that you think is the one … take that person and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all around the world and go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of. And … when you land at JFK and you’re still in love with that person, get married.”

I couldn’t agree more with advice and I couldn’t be more jealous. I would love to have Mr. Murray (or Bill, as we’d soon be on a name to name basis) give a surprise toast for me…basically anywhere, my bachelorette party (“Whose the penis tiara modeled after?”), my wedding (“The open bar is on me!), my honeymoon (“Give it the ole college try!”), the bathroom (“Keep up the good work!”). Though I can’t help but think what female comedian would be equally awesome to give such bachelorette advice…Fey, Pohler, Barr, Handler, Choo, Crawford? If only more comedians or celebrities crashed toasts…

To Read About More Good Speeches!

Speech! Speech! The History of the Wedding Toast

You Think Dating Is Hard? Try Being 5-yrs Old with 3 Girlfriends

For the daters out there who might be tired of the game, the hunt and bad dates – don’t worry cuz you got it good. Try being five years old with three girlfriends. According to this hilarious kid, life doesn’t get much worse. Managing the ladies was much easier at 4. At least he knows not to string along all of them.

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Feminism, So Haut Right Now.

When I started The Feminist Bride website, I would get two responses: an “oh boy!” with an The Feminist Bride T-shirt Designeye roll because they were expecting a one-sided soap box conversation; and a “why are you bothering to get married then?” ignoring the fact that feminists, too, fall in love. I had even debated back and forth on whether to even use the “f” word as the blog’s namesake. Five years ago, the acceptance of the word was a lot more hostile.

Today, it seems the fire most people associate with feminism has warmed people up to it. According to Ms. Magazine, the number of women calling themselves feminists increased from 50 percent in 2006 to 68 percent in 2012. The New York Times came out with an article asking, Who Is a Feminist Now? looking at the change in attitudes (both ways) among celebrities.

In an Elle article, Amy Poehler, 42, said, “Some big actors and musicians feel like they have to speak to their audience and that word is confusing to their audience. But I don’t get it. That’s like someone being like, ‘I don’t really believe in cars, but I drive one every day and I love that it gets me places and makes life so much easier and faster and I don’t know what I would do without it.’ ”

I highly recommend reading the article. It’s both a great indicator of change and an embrace of the word, but also a sobering account of how much feminism also needs to be understood better still.

I may be biased because I was (and am still) obsessed with The Goonies and love Raising Hope, but I think Martha Plimpton, 43, said it best, “We’re going to have to insist on correcting bigotry as it happens, in real time. And fear of women’s equality, or the diminishment of it, is a kind of bigotry. I think it’s important to remove the stigma associated with women’s equality, and as such, yes, normalizing the word ‘feminist’ and making sure people know what it means is incredibly important, whether we’re talking to celebrities or anyone.”

As Plimpton revealed there’s still a lot of initial bias when people hear the “f” word, which means it definitely deserves a second consideration before being discarded. For the people out there still thinking about it, since embracing it whole-heartedly, feminism has really given me some amazing gumption and sense of self that I never knew I needed or already possessed. While I may actually be on that soapbox, it’s important for folks to know that I’ve got some awesome company up here, both men and women. And there’s plenty room for more friends. The work laid out ahead of us is hard, but the benefits are great and we want everyone to enjoy them.

To read more about feminism and linguistics:

Bossy, Bitch, C*nt, Oh My! A look at women’s war on words

How Well Balanced Is Your Name Change Decision?

Why Women Change Their Last Names After Marriage

VIDEO: Why Do Bride’s Take Their Husband’s Name?

Wedding Invitation Name Etiquette

Pet Names Are for Pets

Designer Necklace Meets Cheap Social Construction

 

Arkansas says “I do” then “I don’t” to Same-Sex Marriage

The state of Arkansas created an exciting stir in the continued campaign to give same-sex couples JACOB SLATON / REUTERSthe same marital rights and protection afforded heterosexual couples last week. Pulaski County Circuit Judge Chris Piazza ruled a week ago that the state’s ban on gay marriage was unconstitutional.

The ruling was short-lived.

According The Boston Globe, Arkansas’s Attorney General Dustin McDaniel favors marriage rights for gay couples but vows to defend the state’s laws. How supportive can Attorney General Dustin McDaniel really be if he won’t uphold it when it matters the most? Arkansas passed a state constitutional amendment in 2004 defining marriage as only between a man and a women. McDaniel’s sought an emergency stay, as did lawyers for four other counties.

69 of 75 local officials declined to give out marriage licenses since Piazza’s ruling, most citing confusion over the change in policy, some just plain refusing to and a separate law that barred clerks from issuing same-sex marriage licenses remained on the books. (That’s very sneaky Arkansas, very sneaky.) 

The last license was granted to Hilda Jones and Kerin Hartsell. They join more than 540 other couples.

The fate of same-sex marriage is now in the hands of Arkansas’s Supreme Court, though attorney Jack Wagoner stated optimistically, ‘The handwritings on the wall from the United States Supreme Court. Unless every court is reading the U.S. Supreme Court wrong, the days of barring same-sex couples from marrying are coming to an end.’’

Let’s hope that the courts of Arkansas decide not to leave these 540+ plus jilted at the altar and give the happy ending that the rest who couldn’t get licenses in time that happy ending they deserve.

For a general update on where state’s stand on same-sex marriage: 

  • 17 states plus DC allow same-sex marriage:  California, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington
  • Federal and state judges have ruled against bans in Michigan, Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia, Texas, Arkansas and Idaho and ordered Kentucky, Ohio and Tennessee to recognize same-sex marriages from other states. 

More Feminist Bride Articles on Marriage Equality:

Washington State Revisits Gay Marriage Equality Law

Hillary Clinton United Nations Speech: ‘Free and Equal in Dignity and Rights’

A Testimonial on the Families Gay Marriage Builds

Diane Savino On NY Gay Marriage Bill: ‘We Have Nothing To Fear From Love And Commitment’ (VIDEO)

Religion and Marriage

Chilean President Proposes Rights for Unmarried Partners, Still Opposes Gay Marriage though

Petition Asks Bert And Ernie To Get Married On Sesame Street

Michele Bachmann Gets “Flippy-Floppy” on Addressing Gay Rights Debate

Military gay couples still won’t enjoy benefits

NJ Has A New Situation for Gay Marriage Rights

Maryland’s Gov. Martin O’Malley Pushes for Gay-Marriage

Zach Wahls Speaking on Marriage Equality in Iowa

One of the Best Speeches Championing Marriage Equality

 

 

 

Arkansas Supreme Court suspends gay marriage ruling – Nation – The Boston Globe.

TEDWomen on Women, Humor, Tradition and Change

New Yorker cartoonist, Liza Donnelly takes to the TEDWomen 2010 stage to talk about the power of humor. She shares her journey as a female cartoonist and breaking the glass ceiling in her field. (She joined the New Yorker in 1982, when she was only one of three women on staff). What’s most interesting to brides out there though, is how her humor works because it’s tied heavily to female culture and traditions.

10 Wedding Traditions Worth Skipping

If you’re looking for some real advice as to what type of wedding traditions you should skip, look notumblr_lurk61U2S71r6ahc3o1_500 further. Other lists give fluffy advice and are usually limited to things you buy. This top 10 list gives you wedding traditions that are ripe with unfair conditions like sexism or consumerism which can either be thrown out like a garter or bouquet (#8 & #9) or modernized so it treats everyone a little bit better.

Why there’s much more to the Nigerian girls’ kidnapping

Hundreds of schoolgirls were kidnapped in a school raid in Nigeria on April 14, 2014. 140502173752-lead-dnt-tapper-social-media-campaign-kidnapped-nigerian-schoolgirls-00012525-story-topThe kidnappers are from the Islamist group Boko Haram, which means, “Western education is sinful.”  Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan has been unable to retrieve the girls and he is seeking internationally assistance.

US Secretary of State John Kerry promised help. “The kidnapping of hundreds of children by Boko Haram is an unconscionable crime, and we will do everything possible to support the Nigerian government to return these young women to their homes and to hold the perpetrators to justice,” Kerry said from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. The international community is right to respond cooperatively, but what about addressing why the girls were kidnapped in the first place?