The first is that upon marrying Abraham, his new wife no longer existed as herself but as the “wife of Abraham.”

I’ve just read an article that claims that, but the author quoted the Biblical text that showed that it was God who changed Sarai’s name to Sarah, BUT he also changed Abram to Abraham. In other words (just ignoring the fact that surnames didn’t even exist in Biblical times, for the moment) BOTH the man and the woman had new names indicating their change in social status. It was NOT simply the woman’s lot (or privilege, if you prefer) to loose her birth name.

Mary:

before I had my husband’s name, I had my father’s name

This is a red herring. How did your father get HIS name? It was given to him in EXACTLY the same way it was given to YOU. Therefore, you have AS MUCH right to OWN it as he does. Yes, it probably was a man’s name originally, but you’d have to go back centuries to find the original Smith or Archer. Ever since that first man, it’s been bestowed on male and female without distinction. Besides, if you do not consider your surname as yours by right, then neither can your husband. Then what?

Tanya:

My birth surname was one I never liked

Fine, but can you explain why so many more women seem to dislike their surname than men? If people genuinely changed their surname because it was somehow unpleasant, or their father was a s**t, then unpleasant names would have died out generations ago as men discarded them. I find it baffling that men who have suffered grief because of school bullying will bestow that same surname on their own child.

Popcorn Devil: I don’t know where you live, but here in the UK I changed my surname* and it’s not been any hassle at all and nobody has questioned it. I have not yet changed my passport, but I’m assured I can do so by just showing my marriage certificate.

(* we’ve hyphenated)