A bridal bouquet usually costs mucho dinero (I think I paid over $100 for mine in 2010), so it can be hard to justify tossing it away for someone else to keep when you barely had any time to bond with it. It also stops a bride from being able to dry it out and keep it for eternity in their hutch á la Miss Havisham. There’s also plenty of feminist reason to modernize the bouquet especially so it’s less of a double standard and pushy-marriage game. So if you’re on the fence about whether or not to play the game or want to update it to minimize the downsides to the traditional rules, here are ten modern wedding bouquet toss alternatives.
- Remove The Groom’s Tie Instead – with your hands, feet, teeth, or mind. This alternative gives the bride an opportunity to be as sexually explicit as the groom removing the garter. Though the bride doesn’t have to just remove the tie, I’ve seen a few brides go for the groom’s belt or jokingly pull his tighty whities out from his trousers. There’s also no reason he can’t wear a garter…and I’m not talking a sock garter that men in the early 20th century wore. This option works because it’s a really nice game for a same-sex wedding too.
- Money Origami Bouquet – When I joked with friends that I’d throw an origami bouquet made with dollar bills instead, everything was suddenly ready to play regardless of their hang ups with the toss. While some might find this idea cheesy, there are certain cultural traditions where it’s customary for the newlyweds to visibly donate money to a saint or charitable organization, so it’s actually not a left field idea. Plus a little magnanimous generosity on your big day might not be bad karma when saying thank you to all of those who came out to support the newlyweds in the first place. You can always toss any other type of bouquet if you want, in fact here are some alternative ideas.
- Toss A Breakaway Bouquet – A breakaway bouquet just splits apart midair. Attach a positive note of encouragement to each stemmed flower so that everyone (not just single people) can walk away with a little flower and a bright reminder of how wonderful they are. Just make sure to have more than enough for everyone.
- Balloon Drop – Fortunately, this can be played with literally everyone; the downside is that this game is contingent on where the wedding is held. The newlyweds can dramatically release the balloons onto the dance floor (or they can be released while they are dancing). Each balloon or just one special one is filled with some type of special trinket or momentum and everyone will have to pop it to find the hidden treasure.
- Toss Fun Flair to Wear – Flair could be anything from fun party hats, to guest corsages and boutonnieres, sashes, buttons with the couple’s face on them, feather boas, sunglasses, etc. Since this is on the festive side, it’s a fun kick off game once dinner is done and it’s time to start dancing. It also keeps the tchotchkes off the tables so that they look classy during the formal food part of the reception (if that’s the look you’re going for).
- Dance Competition – Invite people up for a short and fun dance competition, gradually tap people out, the last person standing gets to keep the bouquet and the guests get to watch fun moves and cheer them on. Some newlyweds ask all couples to the floor to dance or award the bouquet to the longest married couple, but the downside to this is that it’s putting married guests first and excluding the rest.
- Pass the Bouquet I – Find the next couple about to walk down the aisle or find the longest married couple and pass the bouquet onto them; preface this gift with a small speech. If it’s to the next-to-marry couple, wish them all the happiness in the world and that their day is full of as much happiness, if not more, than your own. If it’s to the longest married couple, talk about how you hope for a bride to one-day pass the bouquet to you and your spouse too.
- Pass the Bouquet II – If you don’t want to make the toss about marriage, pick an unspoken hero at your wedding and thank them. There’s always that guest who is not a bridesmate, groomsmen or relative that goes out of their way to make sure your wedding is perfect. You can also thank a guest who also serves in the military or protective domestic forces.
- Combine The Garter And Bouquet Toss – What the couple decides to toss is up to them, but invite everyone up together in one big ole coed shindig. Maybe each person individually tosses the bouquet and the boutonniere (an option that removes the sexual double standard) or mutual clothing items like #1 suggested.
- Just Skip The Toss Completely – I’ve had just as much fun at weddings that didn’t toss the bouquet; maybe even more because I wasn’t sitting there watching people play an awkward game with obsolete social rules.