Pop Culture
BUST Magazine: “Meghan Markle: A Feminist In The British Royal Family”
I had the pleasure of writing for Bust Magazine and using my feminist bride knowledge to review the feminism of the 2018 royal wedding between Prince Harry and American actress, Meghan Markle. Most sources have been applauding the resounding feminism Markle instilled in her wedding from how avant-garde her non-traditional wedding dress was (are we looking at the same dress?) to her feminist solo walk down the aisle (mmm, half walk, wait, half unassisted, but still 100% escorted down the the aisle walk). So I had to weigh in as The Feminist Bride in order to set the feminist record straight. Overblown feminist actions aside or, at least, unreported feminist actions like being referred to as “Ms.” on the wedding invite and skipping a registry (they asked) for charitable donations instead, there was some powerful intersectional feminism in the wedding where Meghan’s black heritage was beautifully intertwined with the Anglo-saxon customs of Prince Harry’s church. There’s a lot to consider, particularly accurately assessing what type of influence Meghan will have on the royal court as a feminist. Because if a feminist activist can tell you anything it’s that no one can rest on their laurels, there’s is always more equality to achieve and more work to do. Check out my article here.
Feminist Fashion Friday: Betsey Johnson’s Marriage Equality Runway
I never know what to make of Betsey Johnson. She’s kinda like your great Aunt that’s a total wild card, who curiously resembles your thirteen year old niece, who’s currently finding herself by defying convention. When it comes to fashion, she’s a great reminder of how far fashion can go and how much you don’t have to give a hoot about other people’s opinions so long as you’re happy.
TheFeministBride.com is now a book!
Dear Feminists,
Cover Photography: Raymond Adams, http://www.raymondadams.net/
I have exciting news to share. TheFeministBride.com is now a book called The Adventures and Discoveries of a Feminist Bride! I’ve worked incredibly long and hard to write the most feminist AF wedding book. In fact, there’s no other book like it—at all. Seriously. How, in our fourth wave of feminism, has no one has bothered to call out all the inequalities and ways in which wedding culture discriminates against women, LGBTQs, people of color, children, and, gasp, even men? There isn’t one tradition that doesn’t relate to the wage gap, sex and gender discrimination, street harassment, or limit reproductive rights.
Well, I get balls-deep (literally as all wedding traditions are patriarchal in origin) into the history of each major Western wedding tradition, I analyze it from a contemporary feminist and intersectional perspective, I provide positive solutions and egalitarian options, and I weave in my own self-deprecating, wedding anecdotes because, after all, this is about weddings. They are supposed to be fun.
You’ll get freaknomics-smart as I take you through on an intellectual journey through social psychology and behavioral economics. There’s so much about linguistics in here that, I’m pretty sure, it would make Noam Chomsky cry tears of joy (well, and maybe tears of sadness too because there’s a lot of unfortunate sexism imbedded in our everyday language). You’ll laugh with me at my hilariously embarrassing stories and be glad you aren’t me. Because I’ve got the scars and broken pride proving wedding rituals and expectations have run amuck. You’ll find the strength and courage to say “hey, that’s not right” when you smell some B.S. in your wedding planning (B.S. stands for both bullshit and benevolent sexism in the book). And you’ll find the power to make wedding traditions ones where everyone is treated with respect and love.
I hope you enjoy the book and share it with anyone about to walk down the aisle or with those who want the world and our homes to be filled with love, empathy and support. I believe that the path to true equality is only possible if it’s practiced in the home and there are too many social traditions that currently prevent that. I simply want everyone’s special day to be perfect and the only way to do that is to infuse equality into all wedding practices. The book is available for preorder through Black Rose Writing. The book’s official release date is February 22, 2018 and will be widely available online, with the e-book coming out March 1st. If you have any questions, please contact Julia Davis at Riot PR.
Cheers,
Katrina
Feminist AF Bachelorette Party Costume Ideas
Take your bachelorette party to the next level with a little help from our overseas sisters, the British. Yes, with their pomp and circumstance our sisters know how to throw down both a scone and a party, especially when it comes to their hen parties. Hen parties are the equivalent of bachelorette parties in the US and they like to get all dolled up in fancy dress (that’s British for costume). Costumes are a great way to unite the party especially if there’s a common theme and antics.
Part 1: Wedding-Themed Beers
Are you a beer-loving bride or groom? If yes, then that’s a good thing because craft beer is hotter than the stripper at your bachelorette party. If you’re not a big fan of the bubbly and not so much into wine, the many styles of craft beer now available may be perfect for serving at your wedding festivities then. Even better, many new breweries offer tasting rooms and gastro pubs, which might be great for hosting your next wedding event too (If you ask me, a bachelorette party pub-crawling through some good beer bars is simply more appealing than an endless succession of vodka and Red Bulls at clubs playing music that will make one’s ears bleed.) To get you on your marital way, here is a list of eight appropriately named brews (and some by woman brewmasters!) for your nuptial imbibing.
A Love Letter for The Ages
COURTESY ROSENTHAL FAMILY
Do you love your partner so much that you’re willing to let them go…and date other people? That’s exactly what writer Amy Krouse Rosenthal did in her moving and funny NY Times article. She loved her husband so much she wrote a dating profile for him.
What Krouse Rosenthal really wrote was a love letter to her husband, sadly, on her death bed. She shows how asking and encouraging him to keep on living and loving long after she’s have gone is one of the most selfless thing a partner can do for the other. The love letter is a really good reminder of what selfless love is and the power of a written letter to capture the heart’s true feelings. While Krouse Rosenthal praised what an amazing catch her husband is with heartfelt examples, he might have been just as lucky to find someone who loved him so much she wanted nothing more than to see him happy…
“If you’re looking for a dreamy, let’s-go-for-it travel companion, Jason is your man. He also has an affinity for tiny things: taster spoons, little jars, a mini-sculpture of a couple sitting on a bench, which he presented to me as a reminder of how our family began.”
Amy Krouse Rosenthal passed away on March 13, 2017. You can read her obituary here.
Wedding Show Casting Call
A casting agent reached out to me to share this casting call. While it sounds like double the wedding industrial complex to me, ya’ll are adults that can make the decision on your own (maybe your episode is all about double rejection the wedding industrial complex or showing viewers how to be a feminist bride!). So here’s the info if you, your fiance and another couple want to apply. See you in the spotlight!
Why is Miss Piggy Obsessed with Marriage?
Photo Courtesy: Muppets Most Wanted
The great romances of our time have always unfolded like a Greek tragedy, a Shakespearian play, a Dickinson novel or sometimes a delicious telenovela. Heloise and Abelard, Romeo and Juliet, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, Kennedy and Monroe, Sam and Diane, Ross and Rachel, Franco and Rogen, there’s a long list of would-be lovers but none are as memorable, iconic, romantically complicated and plushy as Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog.
Kermit will lament that, “it’s not easy being green;” but Miss Piggy embodies how difficult it is, loving and wanting someone – who is green. For the last 30-plus years, Miss Piggy has chased, bamboozled, coerced and sometimes karate-chopped Kermit towards marital submission. However, the slippery amphibian has continuously dodged and spurned her advances. Why after so many years of cat and mouse is marriage Miss Piggy’s pièce de résistance?
8 Songs for a Father-Son Wedding Dance
Photo by Kathryn Krueger Photography
There’s simply no reason why a groom can’t dance with his dad or the man who raised him. It doesn’t have to be with just mom because some outdated dance tradition dictates that formal dancing should be with someone of the opposite sex. So in keeping with the post, 8 Songs for a Mother-Daughter Wedding Dance (which explains the selection criteria too), here are a eight potential songs to cut a rug with dad.
Our Interview on the #1 Wedding Podcast, Save The Date!
Super excited to be interviewed on the #1 wedding podcast, Save The Date. It was really fun sitting down with the host, Aleisha McCormack to talk about some of the most sexist wedding traditions out there and what “bridechillas”‘ and “groomchillas” (bride/grooms who are chill) can do to make them more feminist and respectful for all. So please check out and listen to Episode 169, which by the way, is a totally appropriate number considering how much we discussed the role of sex in wedding traditions! To all the feminist brides (and grooms) out there, I hope it’s an eye opening listen and as fun for you as it was for me in recording it!
8 Songs for a Mother-Daughter Wedding Dance
Even in 2016, formal dancing still reeks of gender divides (even Dancing with the Stars has yet to feature two partners of the same sex), but modern, feminist brides should feel absolutely free to dance with the woman who raised them instead of their father or next male of kin as tradition usually dictates. There’s absolutely no reason why a bride can’t dance with her mom for the parental wedding reception dance instead (or split a song so both parents can take a turn). So here are eight song suggestions to inspire the moment you cut a rug with mom.
Ben & Jerry’s: Married to Activism, Ice Cream and Civil Rights
Ben and Jerry’s founders were arrested at the U.S. capital recently protesting money in politics, this is not the first time the ice cream enthusiasts have taken political action. In 2012, the Vermont, change-the-world-one-scoop-at-a-time ice cream enthusiasts, Ben & Jerry’s is changed some of their ice cream flavors in support of gay marriage. I can count two separate instances where the company has done so, and I found one image of a personalized ice cream flavored circulating the Internet called, My Fat Greek Gay Wedding.
When Vermont allowed gay marriage they changed classic Chubby Hubby to Hubby Hubby for the month in September 2009.
Ben & Jerry’s opted for an ice cream buffet in 2010 instead of a wedding cake to celebrate when DC decided to allow same-sex couples the right to marry too. They hosted a wedding and reception for local couple Keith Spangler-Vellios and Andreas Vellios at the Georgetown Ben & Jerry’s Scoop Shop.
And overseas in the UK, they are trying to encourage same-sex marriage awareness and understanding as parliament debates whether or not to legalize it with the aid of Stonewall, a gay rights organization. The activist flavor of choice in this case is Apple-y Ever After. There is also an extensive Facebook and social media campaign to help people influence government and show their support by virtually marrying each other and being able to download a letter of support to send to parliament.
In the US they are rewarding states that approve same-sex marriage with an icy, sweet treat which is wonderful, but I wonder if more campaigns like the one in the UK are more important in the long run in achieving equal marriage rights for all.
With a lot of customized ice cream flavors and monikers associated with specific causes, it is unclear via Ben & Jerry’s company reports whether buying the same-sex flavors proceeds go directly to the partnered gay organizations.
“Ben & Jerry’s has a long history of commitment to social justice, including gay rights. Its partnership with Freedom to Marry, a national leader in the movement for marriage equality, aims to raise awareness of the importance of marriage equality and to encourage other states to follow the blazing trails of Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, and Maine.”
Ben & Jerry’s Co-founder Jerry Greenfield is a sponsor of the ReligiousFreedom and Civil Marriage Equality Amendment Act of 2009.
Ben & Jerry’s has always taken corporate social responsibility to new levels and it’s great to see such a caring company dare to support a cause that could alienate other ice cream lovers. They’re putting social gain over ice cream consumption. That’s not something most companies are willing to do, even on an internal level. (In 1993, Ben & Jerry’s was one of the first US companies to offer health and employment benefits to unmarried domestic partners regardless of their sexual orientation.) Their dedication to greater social causes and progressive business philosophies is just the cherry topping we all need.
Chelsea Handler Does Marriage on Netflix
Image: Netflix
In Netflix’s new docuseries, Chelsea Does, comedian and former talk-show host, Chelsea Handler does marriage in the first episode. The only problem is that Chelsea can’t find anyone to do her until death do they part. Absent groom aside, she’s not sold on the idea of a wedding and sets off to discover what the big deal is about weddings and being married.
Shonda Rhimes and Admitting: “I Don’t Want to Get Married.”
I’m not sure there’s anyone in the world who could sit down with Oprah Winfrey and not suddenly start pouring their heart out to her. I’d be like Chunk in The Goonies who wildly confesses to everything and anything the moment Oprah said, “Hello, how are you?” No mortal has a fighting chance against Oprah and a couch. So when TV Queen/Feminist/Writer/Producer/Future President, Shonda Rhimes sat down with her, I thought, as a fellow immortal, she stood a fighting chance. Turns out even feminist immortals bare their soul to the Big O, and I’m glad she did.
Ms. Rhimes revealed “I don’t want to get married…at all.” Both single gals confided and revealed to each other how complicated such a personal belief is received in a social context, “There’s a huge amount of pressure…you’re suppose to want to [get married] and if you don’t want it – what’s wrong with you?” This is an important element that everyone, even here at The Feminist Bride, must consider. What’s powerful of Rhimes’ revelation is that she gave herself time and permission to explore whether or not marriage was right for her, which gave her the strength and confidence to say, “I don’t want to get married.” And quit frankly, how much do any of us give ourselves the time, permission and freedom to block out social convention and pressure to figure out what we truly want? For all the peer, media, religious and environmental pressure placed on women to get married, there needs to be an open and accepting dialogue that tells women – you don’t have to get married if you don’t want to and that is perfectly acceptable. As friends and family of those people, it’s important such stances are met with support and not doubt too. Rhimes goes onto further share that just because marriage isn’t on the table that does not mean meaningful or long-term relationships aren’t. I know not everyone can sit down with Oprah and get to the bottom of their psyche or desires, but perhaps if we all pretended to bare our souls to the Big O we’d learn just a little more about want we want and be a little happier for it.
Image Courtesy of OWN/Super Soul Sunday TV
Are bridal parties the same as Taylor Swift’s “Nazi-Barbie” Girl Squad?
Image Courtesy of Matt Sayles/Invision AP
Hollywood reporter, Camille Paglia is taking umbrage against Taylor Swift’s girl squad, which she describes as a “Nazi-Barbie routine.” Paglia reflects on Swift’s appropriation of girl power squads from the 1990s, e.g. The Spice Girls, Def Squad, to promote a sense of women-empowered camaraderie through social media, in-person staged appearances and the pervasive selfie. After reading her fair but also pretty scathing review where she ultimately describes Swift as a “fascist blonde,” I can’t help wonder if there are lots of similarities between Swift’s posse power and bridal parties?
Amber Rose’s Walk of No Shame
For decades adults have been traversing the perils of walking home the morning after a hook up with their makeup smeared, hair disheveled in what is classically known as The Walk of Shame. Yet, Amber Rose is taking to the streets in her clothes from last night to declare that The Walk of Shame is no more! Amber Rose with the help of Funny or Die explores what it would be like if people didn’t shame those for enjoying sex and high fived those who got their socks rocked. In their eyes, if you’re walking The Walk of Fame you’re “living your best life!”
Image: Funny or Die
Weird Couple Quirks – VIDEO
Like everyone else, I thought my relationship was unique and unlike any others, until I saw this video by Buzzfeed… I don’t know about you, but in terms of relationship quirks, communications and habits, I’m totally busted…
Courtesy of Buzzfeed video
Tina Fey Spanx Ridiculous Clothing Trend #LastDressEver
Tina Fey on The Late Show with David Letterman
Next to my tattoo of Notorious RBG will go my tattoo of Tina Fey. Though maybe I’m thinking too small and these broads need their own Mount Rushmore. Tina Fey visited David Letterman for the last time (it was her 20th appearance). (By the way, the podcast Stuff Mom Never Told You has a really eye-opening episode about late night television and women. It talks about the scandal where Letterman inappropriately slept with a number of women staffers, which gives Fey’s clothing message of “Bye Dave” new meaning.) She wanted to show to him what the underworld of undergarments looks like and how she “will no longer conform to gender norms” in this way with the message #LastDressEver. And so the saucy lady from 30 Rock and The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt stripped down to her Spanx on national television to show the world the absurd lengths women go to look a certain way. It got me thinking about the ridiculous contraptions brides often wear to look “perfect” too, which is silly because the wedding dress probably already comes with corset bone ribbing…Thanks Tina Fey for bearing all and calling out the ridiculousness of women’s clothing, more like #LastCorsetEver.
The Burger-King Wedding – Corporate Sell-Out or Name Equality Champions?
Photo Ashley King & Joel Burger
As you’ve already heard Ashley King and Joel Burger, who started as 5th grade elementary friends and ended up twenty-years later as fiancés are getting married and planning on having a Whopper© of a wedding. Their joint destiny may not have been written in the stars, but on a menu as their surnames suggested – Burger and King.
“We have yet to escape the teasing, but we have fully embraced our nickname,” Joel Burger told the Register. While people are having a good laugh with the couple over their uniquely commercial union, let’s talk about how it seems that the couple are practicing the rare neutronymics! Neutronymics is a term I coined where a married couple either retains their two surnames, incorporate both names (hyphenation or middle name replacement) or create a completely new name out of both their names. If Mr. Burger is actually adding on Ms. King’s surname, it is one of the rarest examples of men doing so.
As it stands less than 10% of women today either practice neutronymics or one-sided hyphenation (meaning as a couple, only the woman changes her name). Around 90% of women practice patronymics (taking his name) and so few men practice matronymics (taking her name) or neutronymics that their number doesn’t register on the scale at all. So it’s a pretty big deal if Mr. Burger is going for the full regal sandwich moniker. Which if he is, I think that’s amazing. Even if he wasn’t planning on it, it might be in his finance’s and frig’s best interest if the chain is looking for local spokespeople. Because by the powers of fast food, the burger chain, Burger King discovered their nuptials through the modern wedding announcement platform – Twitter. Instead of celebrating the couple by gifting them with a copyright infringement lawsuit, Burger King decided to gift them an entire wedding.
While I have strong mixed feelings about such corporate sponsorship for “one of the most important day in the couple’s life,” I can’t help but wonder what a Burger King Wedding would look like? First and foremost, the King has to reside as their officiant. If he approves of the marriage he will give his signature thumbs up, then the couple may kiss. Upon saying I do, the couple shall be crowned in BK’s customary regalia. The cocktail hour will serve mini sliders, onion rings and chicken nuggets. Instead of a swan-sculpted ice luge, a large B.K. insignia will dispense the finest of Pepsi colas and Mountain Dews for guests. The reception will start with the chain’s classic chicken Caesar salad and then be followed with a banquet of burgers piled so high it could reach the Gods. The couple will have their first dance to the classic Burger King song, “Have It Your Way” and cut into a burger-themed wedding cake designed by none other than Cake Boss. Guests, with their bellies full from Extra Long BBQ Cheeseburgers, will leave happy, especially when go home with a kid’s meal toy and their pockets full of Junior Whoppers. But most importantly the after party will feature a sacrificial Ronald McDonald effigy in order to ensure a prosperous life together and many little Kid’s meals in the couple’s future.
So why is Burger King doing all of this. For one, it’s really good press, especially after the debacle in 2005 when a lady called 911 because the store couldn’t get her order right. But maybe I’m being cynical and they just believe in a good old fashioned love story. It will be really interesting to see if the chain totally commercializes the couple’s wedding in a marketing stunt and a gross display of the wedding industrial complex or leave the couple to their own wedding design devices (their original intention was to just hand out koozies with their name and the BK logo on the back). If selling out their wedding is the cost for a man practicing neutronymics, I’m actually on board for a Whopper-themed wedding then. Sexism in name change is one of the worst sources of inequality in wedding traditions so I say take the small wins even if it’s from the dollar menu.
The Chicken Dance Conspiracy Theory: Why America’s Classic Wedding Dance Disappeared
On a non-feminist, but equally as fun note…
Have you noticed that America’s favorite group dance after the Electric Slide to The Dougie has more or less disappeared from the wedding reception’s dance floor? The chicken dance’s armpit flapping and fingering yapping were as American as saluting and doing the wave. How could it possibly disappear from DJ’s playlists, where has our patriotism gone? What the cluck?
The Perfect Feminist Burlesque Dance (Video)
Image: Comedian Nadia Kamil
Nothing is better and sexier than a feminist burlesque dance. Here’s why…
- There’s no exchange of dollar bills into G-strings. Aside from saving money, no one is supporting the sex industry.
- No post-shower needed cuz you don’t feel like a dirty miscreant after watching it.
- It’s the “new consensual sexy” cuz it overpowers the male gaze and privilege.
- Men and women can enjoy it together if they want.
- There’s no skeevy touching, except for the moments that pull on your heartstrings because you feel empathy towards women.
- It’s masters the art of comedy and activism, which means you feel really empowered by it.
- You WANT to tell all your friends about how awesome it was afterwards because it’s not shady.
UK comedian, Nadia Kamil does a perfect job of showing how awesome a feminist burlesque can be. Her routine is inspired by a Margaret Thatcher burlesque act, and thought she could one-up the Iron Lady and her patriot pubes. (By the way, doesn’t Kamil look like Tina Fey and Molly Shannon’s long lost British sister?) So next time you’re looking to book a bachelor or bachelorette party think about tracking down a feminist burlesque show, you will never regret it.
What Historically Accurate Disney Princesses Look Like
Ever wonder what Disney princesses would be like if they were placed in their correct times in human history? This video reverses all the Princesses’ Fairy Godmother’s work and reverts them back to reality. And it turns out it ain’t all songs and furry animal sidekicks, like how Jasmine would have been a lot more covered up due to strict religious mores. The video asks, “Did they live happily ever after?” but doesn’t answer the question directly other than showing the stark reality between the women’s fantasy lives and real life ones. However, I’m reading Stephanie Coontz’s Marriage, A History and it seems unlikely that they lived happily as few women in these periods had any civil and social rights. Until the 19th century few women were allowed to get an education or retain any type of power, except over a household. And forget about their knights in shining armor, these women barely got to choose whom they married and loving them was generally out of the question. Husbands usually controlled their lives and the finances too, even if through a dowry, she was the wealthy one. They could even legally beat their wives, and cheating was generally accepted. Reality gives a glimpse as to why perhaps these princess fantasies were appealing…
Courtesy of Eugene Lee Yang / Via youtube.com
Hollywood’s Runaway Brides
Courtesy of Friends
There’s an urban myth that men are commitment-phobes when it comes to marriage. If this were true, then why do so many of Hollywood’s brides have cold feet? If I had to guess, it’s probably because most lead women wake up moments before walking down the aisle realizing they are about to get married in order to meet societal expectations – don’t be alone, marry for security, it’s what everyone else wants, your ticking biological clock, all your friends are doing it, it’s not cool to be a cat-lady, etc., etc. – as opposed to a bride marrying for herself and to be with a person she truly loves. I would like to think those runaway brides are sticking it the Wedding Industrial Complex or those icky societal expectations, but the reality is their journey usually ends with another relationship and less self fulfillment. Here’s a list of Hollywood’s ten classic runaway brides and what their feminist (or unfeminist) epiphany was after they said, “F%^& it, I’m running…”
‘Trainwreck’ Amy Schumer Takes on Monogamy in New Movie
Trainwreck
No one does irreverent women’s culture better than Amy Schumer on her Comedy Central show, Inside Amy Schumer. Now we can enjoy her hutzpah on the big screen with the movie, Trainwreck (in theaters July 17). Not only did she write this film, but she’s starring in it too. Chock one up for underrepresented women in Hollywood! While it seems Trainwreck might be another chick flick rom-com, the trailer shows Amy acting more like the unattainable, detached guy which hopefully breathes some fresh air into this exhausted genre.
The Flaw in Tiffany & Co.’s Same-sex Engagement Ring Ad
Image Courtesy of Tiffany & Co.
Everyone’s favorite breakfast shop and jeweler, Tiffany & Co. has just released a new engagement ring ad, “Will you?” featuring a real life same-sex couple. Like an engagement, there’s plenty of reason to celebrate when a company diversifies its ad campaigns to include more than just white heterosexuals. J. Crew, The Gap, JC Penny and Ray-Ban are just a few of the companies that are starting to cater to the LGBT market. However, before we pop that champagne there’s still plenty to consider.
The Power of Feminism in Tradition and Culture
Image: Tedx, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is an important Nigerian novelist and gave an inspiring lecture at Tedx in 2013 called “We Should All Be Feminists.” It explores her own personal interactions and observations regarding gender in Nigeria. She shares her thoughts on these moments as they relate to feminism, power, equality and culture, but what was most powerful is how she described how gender roles in marriage often shape women and men’s equality. Here are some amazingly insightful quotes from the talk and some Feminist Bride reflections on them. I also strongly recommend watching the talk in its entirety too.
The Greatest Lessons Are The Ones Not Told
Image c/o Queenlatifah.com
Most of us learn about wedding culture from our parents, peers, religion, businesses, media and pop culture. It’s very easy to feel like experts on the subjects since we’re inundated with lessons of how to buy the perfect wedding dress, get him to propose, what to say during the wedding ceremony, how to pick out a flawless diamond ring and how women can easily change their last name to his. When it comes to weddings and marriage, people have always been told what, when, where, how, but few ever think for themselves – ‘why?’
Are Facebook Relationship Over-sharers Overcompensating?
Ever wonder what the deal is behind your social media friends who incessantly post about their relationships? Are they overcompensating for something else or do they really have the best boyfriend/girlfriend in the whole wide world as they claim? Are they truly happy or are the rest of us just curmudgeons and incapable of being happy for someone else’s happiness?
Why Do Brides ‘Trash The Dress?’
Photo Courtesy of Sarah Tamagni Photography
Allegedly, trashing the dress became a thing circa 2001 courtesy of Las Vegas wedding photographer, John Michael Cooper. Cooper may have gotten the idea as early as 1998 when he watched an episode of Sunset Beach, in which Meg Cummings threw a massive tantrum and her bridal self into the ocean after her wedding was interrupted. And from there an idea was born, “I can make this type of crazy, sexy.” With the average wedding dress costing $1,211, it’s hard to imagine why a bride would want to demolish a dress that Oscar de la Renta described as “the most important dress in the life of a woman,” so the question remains, why destroy it?
Feminist Fashion Friday: Dressing and Thinking Like a ‘Modern Women’ is Hard!
Happy Feminist Fashion Friday! You are about to discover the wonderful and edgy web-comedy, Modern Women by Chelsea Devantez and Emily Walker! Coming to us via The Second City Network, Chelsea and Emily navigate how complicated it is to dress whatever way you want – while not getting street harassed – while honoring that feminist class from college you took. Watch and enjoy!
Feminist Fashion Fridays: The 400-Pound Wedding Dress
Image: Gail Be Designs
Can’t find “the dress?” Maybe what you need is a 400-pound wedding dress.
Gail Be from Minnesota spent over 20,000 hours using nearly one million beads (500,000 glass pearls and over 400,000 crystals) to create the ultimate wedding dress an obsessive outfit no one can realistically wear. Constructed only with beads, a 20.5-foot train and seven miles of beading wiring, the dress is fitted for a size four. The only person who might actually be physically capable of wearing and walking down the aisle is 100-lb., American Ninja Warrior finalist, Kacy Catanzaro.
As a fashionable work of art, the gown is really something to marvel at. And it’s safe to say Be sorta likes beads, considering this is what her business only does and for the likes of Lady Gaga too. It seems Be created the jeweled monstrosity out of passion (but maybe as a PR-stunt too. You win Be.), as the dress won’t be considered for the Guinness Book of World Records. As a wearable gown, we’re getting into the absurdity that is often the wedding fashion industry. However, since no one wants to be doing 400-lb. power squats on the dance floor, we most likely don’t have to worry about the later.
The only thing that is missing a beaded tuxedo to match. Get on it Be, and make sure to get into the Guinness World Records this time.
Ladies Hilariously Put the “GRRR” in Grindr
CONFESSION! I haven’t been on the dating scene in years and I am not a gay man so I had to Wiki what Grindr, SCRUFF, and GROWLr were. It turns out they are all-male social networks for finding friendship, dating, carpools and a lot of other things that, if you’re like me, might also go over your head! If I learned anything from these videos is that dating is a lot harder, confusing and explicit these days!
Tim Paul of The Second City Network has come out with series called Ladies Looking, which invites women to read some of the intellectual dialogue exchanges from these social networks. Let’s put it this way, after a long workweek, these videos will brighten your week and wake you up more than your coffee and a mound of drugs could. I also seriously recommend that you don’t watch this at work, or at least put in headphones before HR hunts you down.
Absurd Cake Toppers
My wedding cake topper was also my “something old.” It was over 30 years old and last saw a cake at my parents’ wedding in the 70s. I spent at least an hour trying to bleach it white. Before deciding to use it, I debated between going simple with just flowers since I had been both tickled and horrified at modern cake toppers. Seriously, have you seen them lately?
Solange Knowles, Caped Crusader of Avant-Garde Wedding Fashion
Contributing Writer: Sally Pillay
Feminist Fashion Friday: With a modern twist of unique elegance, Solange Knowles and longtime boyfriend Alan Ferguson married over the weekend. Pair that with a star-studded guest list including the one and only Queen B and husband, Jay-Z, and you’ve got my attention.
Counting at least six bridal outfits through the wedding weekend, Solange started at her rehearsal dinner with a v-neck, bell sleeved dress by Ellery with golden Loeffler Randall heels. This ensemble was just a mere taste of the fashion delicacies to follow!
Prior to their wedding ceremony, Solange and Alan arrived on two white bicycles. Solange donned a sexy low cut Stéphane Rolland jumpsuit with a cape. (LOVE!) The groom sported a white Lanvin suit. (Way to make an entrance!) Now the only thing that can get me more excited than a bride bucking traditional trends is a bride in a jumpsuit and a cape. Pair that with a bicycle, and I’m speechless.
Tig Notaro Performed a Bold Comedy Set Topless | Bitch Media
Check out my article on Bitch Media about how Tig Notaro went
Tig Notaro comedy cover for LIVE!
topless, post mastectomy with no reconstructive surgery on stage at New York Comedy Festival. In my personal opinion, it was a bit that rivaled her now-legendary 2012 performance at Largo and sent a powerful message about body images and acceptance. Go Tig!
Why Feminism Needs Funny
On other non-bridal news… Earlier this year, comedian and actor, Louis CK took the SNL main stage. His opening monologue covered women’s vote, women in religion and how awful it is to name a t-shirt affectionately after the act of wife beating.
I’m happy that Louis CK took it upon himself to talk about real issues facing women like his daughters and me – and with humor. It is a funny and absurd observation that some people in this country are older than women’s ability to vote! But I’m confused at the feminist undertones of his SNL bit. Didn’t he tell The Daily Show, when discussing the Daniel Tosh’s controversial rape ‘joke,’ “[it’s] a fight between comedians and feminists, which are natural enemies, because stereotypically feminists can’t take a joke, and comedians…can’t take big criticism and are big pussies.
F-Bombs for Feminism: Princesses Will Not “Let Inequality Go”
Princesses are yelling “Fuck No, I Won’t Let It Go!” when it comes to inequality. Nor should they! FCKH8.com, a “for-profit T-shirt company with an activist heart and a passionate social change mission” that focuses on anti-discrimination, is using f-bombs yielding princesses to talk about women’s inequality. Aside from the over the top acting, it sends a powerful message that shows how sexism affects women of all ages. I especially loved the ending when they talked about how gender roles hurt men too; and I fell over laughing when one princess was making it rain in the swear jar. They totally put it into perspective when the video asked, “What’s more offensive: a little girl saying ‘fuck’ or the evil fucking sexist ways society treats girls and women?”
How to Give the Worst Wedding Speech Ever
Sexy Halloween Costume ≠ Slutty Woman
Comedian Eliza Skinner has some wickedly awesome sage advice about how to tell the different between a sexy halloween costume and a slutty one. So as you ponder this year’s halloween costume, consider that it’s the women underneath that makes a difference and the person who calls her slutty – is probably going home alone on October 31st. #BanSlutoween
Feminist Fashion Friday: Karl Lagerfeld’s Paris Runway – Feminist or Fail?
As a proud feminist, I probably naturally strut my stuff. I mean, who wouldn’t? When feminists protest it’s usually causational, like as a result of the Hobby Lobby verdict, fighting for birth control, abortion access or a fair wage. And it’s in front of government buildings or ground zero for the issue – not on the runway.
Parody Video: If Men Experienced Accessing Birth Control Like Women
On Beauty: What NOT to Say to A Woman
An awesome group of Hollywood women gathered at a roundtable discussion with The Hollywood Reporter. Mindy Kaling (The Mindy Project), Emmy Rossum (Shameless), Zooey Deschanel (New Girl), Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie), Taylor Schilling (OITNB) and Kaley Cuoco (The Big Bang Theory) spoke openly about the backhanded compliments people often give to actresses. Though I will argue that every day folk hear similar things all the time. So kudos to these women for putting it out there and calling BS.
Feminist Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Got Your Back Ladies
Thank goodness for Joseph Gordon-Levitt and the people at hitRECord for stepping up to the plate for feminism! JGL is one of those rare instances of men coming forward and identifying as a feminist. (Sorry ladies, there’s no real word on whether Ryan Gosling is an actual feminist. The Feminist Ryan Gosling memes were made as study notecards.)
Not only is JGL explaining why he thinks it’s just plain common sense as to why he’s a feminist and why the world needs it, he’s calling out others who feel like they don’t (#WhyIDon’tNeedFeminism). He also wants to encourage other feminists to come forward and share their ideas on the topic or any topic on their minds really.
hitRECords is a new type of production company that looks to connect thought-provocateurs, writers, artists, musicians or anyone else looking for a creative outlet to team up and create art! If I know feminists, I know we have a lot to say and we definitely love having conversations and collaborating with people on it. So watch the video below and find how you can get involved!
Emma Watson and Men’s Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
UN Women Goodwill Ambassador Emma Watson Co-Hosts Special HeForShe Event. UN Photo/Mark Garten
Emma Watson’s impassioned United Nation’s speech seeking both sexes to peacefully unite in order to achieve women’s equality has touched a nerve. Inaugurating the HeForShe campaign, Watson went on to explain that fundamental feminism “… by definition is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. It is the theory of political, economic and social equality of the sexes.”
The Most Comprehensive Social Media Wedding Etiquette List Imaginable
The Internet is taking over weddings. Analog Miss Manners probably never saw this technological phenomenon coming, so modern couples need new advice on how to use it properly and politely in coordination with your very classy and special day. Without understanding the speed at which information is shared means technology #fails can easily happen. Here’s some advice on how to navigate the complicated world of wedding social media.
Neil Patrick Harris ties knot with David Burtka
Everyone’s favorite onscreen child-doctor prodigy and drug-addled womanizer, Neil Patrick Harris got married over the weekend in Italy. He tied the knot with longtime boyfriend, David Burtka according to Twitter. Time.com reports they’ve been partners for 10 years and are raising twins together. How do you say pass the celebration kush in Italian?
17 Celebrities who said, “I don’t,” to the white wedding gown
Here are 17 celebrities who decided to buck the traditional white wedding down one way or another.
Playboy Explains When Catcalling is Okay; It’s Surprisingly…Feminist
Playboy, an unlikely ally in women’s quest to end street harassment, especially because they’ve made millions and millions off encouraging men to ogle at women, has done something wonderfully feminist. Hugh Hefner has even claimed we are living in a post-feminist world before, meaning that a chart like this shouldn’t even be necessary. But here we, feminists, are in agreement with Playboy’s work for once. Hell just froze over.
Playboy and graphic designer Shea Strauss have designed an excellent explanatory flowchart (click to see full chart) that answers when it’s okay to catcall a woman. In a sort of choose-your-own adventure game, guys can follow the line that represents his libido and male entitlement the best with options like, “Are you sexually frustrated?” if yes, proceed to “Yeah, I wanna yell sex stuff at people.” It eventually all flows down to “Nope, don’t do it,” and “Yeah, go for it.” There’s a real educative twist to help folks understand that the only case where it’s okay to catcall is when there’s mutual consent (and even then they make clear heckling is an equal opportunity for both sexes) and when it’s an actually kitty. For everyone other instance, it’s not cool.
This chart comes in the wake of other great devices to battle street harassment. There’s the bell Hooks hotline, which provides women a fake number to give to strangers who ask for it. The idea (unfortunately, this reasoning exists) is to safeguard women “because we’re [women] raised to know it’s safer to give a fake phone number than to directly reject an aggressive guy.”
There’s also the Cards Against Harassment, which are business cards that anyone can get and hand out to street harassers to explain how their actions negatively affect women. And Tatyana Fazlalizadeh’s art project, Stop Telling Women to Smile attempts to combat harassment directly on the streets too.
While this great flowchart doesn’t get Playboy out of the doghouse for its years of misogyny, objectification, exploitation and body issues, it is certainly a step in the right direction.
Women’s Equality Day: A Difficult Year But There’s Hope
ynchronized way, but in a “This-is-2014, but-it-feels-like-the-stone-age!” sort of way. Before we celebrate Women’s Equality I think it’s imperative to review how we’ve been treated this year. 
Clever Irish PSA for Same-Sex Marriage
You’ve been focusing probably way too closely to the zombie apocalypse on Walking Dead and totally missed the one that was happening in your backyard (to quote the following PSA/Jezebel story) – armaGAYddon. That’s right, all these places that are paving the way to legalize same-sex marriage are opening up the door to this widespread mania. And it’s plague by really nice fancy weddings, tasty cakes and smart dress.
Reality TV Marries Strangers at First Sight
What would it take for you to marry a complete stranger?
In New York City, with a population of 8 million, there are at least 600 people who can’t find a mate worthy of marriage. What’s their solution (or last resort) to this conundrum in the dating digital age? An “extreme social experiment” hosted by FYI TV (part of the A&E network) where four highly educated and trained professionals will match them up with the soul mate they couldn’t find independently. Sounds like a really high end dating service, right? Not quite, the catch is you can only meet this soul mate if you’re willing to marry them sight unseen.
Bummed Out Over Wedding Photo Trends?
FB Movie Review: The Big Wedding
The Big Wedding (2013) – A dynamic family converges for the weekend for a fam
ily wedding. Like all typical wedding movies, hijinks ensue because no one wants to be honest about themselves or their sex life. Though to be fair to the movie, there’s a lot of scandal that you don’t see coming. As one character aptly put it – it’s like watching a telenovela. It does sport a strong cast: Diane Keaton, Robert De Niro, Susan Sarandon, Robin Williams, Amanda Seyfried, Katherin Heigl, which makes it pleasant to watch. Though without giving away too much it’s easy to guess that in The Big Wedding, the big lesson in the end is that honesty is always best. Director: Justin Zackham
Best Lip Dub Proposal EVER!
While the dancing Jews and the marching band were probably my favorite part of this proposal lip dub, the whole production and collaboration by friends (and friends on Skype too!) was just truly amazing to watch. Check out a very well choreographed proposal with Bruno Mars’s song, Marry you.
The FB on ‘OITNB’ and Relationships
Check out my article on The Good Men Project!
“Orange Is The New Black’s second season reveals more about the lives and crimes of its supporting characters. What lies at the heart of season two is not the misdeeds these women committed that accounts for their imprisonment, but the relationships surrounding them that ultimately contributed to it.”
Bill Murray’s Been Crashing Weddings Forever – We Just Never Noticed Until Now
Professional wedding crasher, Bill Murray has been upstaging more than a few brides and grooms lately. The thing is – this isn’t new behavior for the former Ghostbuster. He’s been eerily showing up in wedding photos for years…maybe decades like an elusive, sneaky varmint. We just never noticed until now, but we caught you Murray, we caught you.
Part 2: Love on Las Vegas Boulevard – Creating a Wedding Experience
Click to read first Part 1: Love on Las Vegas Boulevard – Finding Zion
Among the Bail bondsmen, pawnshops, liquor stores and Adult Video purveyors on Las Vegas Boulevard, you’ll find the two most famous wedding chapels in Las Vegas, A Little White Wedding Chapel (ALWWC) and the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel (VLVWC).
Bad Bridesmaid Dresses #TBT
In honor of Throw Back Thursday, here are a selection of bridesmaid dresses which in retrospect may not have been such a good choice.
1. Cuz nothing says metallic like the 80s.
Bill Murray Crashes Bachelor Party, Offers Advice
I’ve heard of Bill Murray’s surprise exploits, like when he stole a Wendy’s french fry from a guy and subsequently told him, “Nobody’s going to believe you.” And I’m secretly hoping, that I too, bump into him somewhere wondering into a hipster party in Brooklyn.
A bachelor party of Boston College graduates in Charleston, North Carolina had such luck though. Watch it here.
Murray offered this sage advice to the groom before quickly disappearing, “If you have someone that you think is the one … take that person and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all around the world and go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of. And … when you land at JFK and you’re still in love with that person, get married.”
I couldn’t agree more with advice and I couldn’t be more jealous. I would love to have Mr. Murray (or Bill, as we’d soon be on a name to name basis) give a surprise toast for me…basically anywhere, my bachelorette party (“Whose the penis tiara modeled after?”), my wedding (“The open bar is on me!), my honeymoon (“Give it the ole college try!”), the bathroom (“Keep up the good work!”). Though I can’t help but think what female comedian would be equally awesome to give such bachelorette advice…Fey, Pohler, Barr, Handler, Choo, Crawford? If only more comedians or celebrities crashed toasts…
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