Posts Tagged: colbert report

Gov’t Shutdowns Wedding, Steven Colbert Shotguns Wedding Instead

A fiance leaving their partner at the altar is the least of a couples’ problems, especially these days as the government shutdown leaves both fiances stranded without a venue. The closure of national monuments and parks may have left vacationers out in the cold, but what about those looking to have a warm start to a new life together? Have no fear, Steven Colbert is here.

Mike and MaiLien hit the media lamenting their cancelled wedding at the Jefferson memorial, which marks the place of their first date.   Luckily, Steven Colbert, ordained minister of the American Marriage Ministries, swooped in to marry the couple on his TV show, The Colbert Report. Nothing says romantic better than Steven Colbert shotgunning a wedding while shotgunning shots, Smokey the Bear, Saul Goodman from Homeland and lots of shots. When America is stuck in the mud and couples need to say, ‘I do’ there’s always Super Minister Colbert to save the day. 

The Colbert Report – Women’s Health-Nazi Plan

It’s only a matter of time before colbert signs up for the slut walk, popping birth control pills like they’re pez.  Free birth control will wipe out the American race and instantly turn daughters into wanton harlots with insatiable sexual appetites.

The Colbert Report