For a wedding to be about equality, it’s not enough to just be a feminist bride. Your fiancé needs to be on board too! (Equality is harder to achieve if it’s one-sided.) So for those grooms out there wondering how they can help truly be their partner’s equal in life and down the aisle, here are 23 signs of a feminist groom.
(Disclosure note: It’s unclear if self-proclaimed feminist, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is a feminist groom, we can only hope…and dream)
- You don’t assume you’re the only one who can propose (in fact you hint that you might like to be proposed to too!)
- You and your fiancé split the cost of the engagement rings and wedding bands.
- You wear an engagement ring too.
- You get your parents permission too.
- You expect your parents to pay as much as the bride’s.
- You insist on splitting all the wedding planning duties.
- You don’t ask plan only the “manly” elements of a wedding.
- Planning the honeymoon is also a shared responsibility.
- You expect to be part of the wedding shower too because it benefits both of you.
- You invite your guy friends and relatives to the shower too cuz you know it’s not just women’s job to give and receive kitchenware.
- If you have a groom’s cake, you expect the wedding cake to represent her interests as well, not be just some blank, white cake.
- You think it’s bad luck if your fiancé sees you on the wedding day.
- Your parents walk you down the aisle.
- You also want Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to be your officiant.
- You would never include the phrase “vow to obey” or “man and wife” in your vows.
- You’re not afraid to cry.
- You toss out the garter toss.
- You are as comfortable having a father-son dance, as you are a mother-son dance.
- You understand that a bachelorette party is just as entitled to do the same activities as a bachelor party so long as both don’t objectify the opposite sex.
- You are open-minded when she asks you to take her surname.
- You don’t encourage her to become a Mrs. (or find a new title that indicates your married status too).
- You get carried over the threshold too.
- You show no hesitation to stand up to those who push obsolete, sexist wedding traditions on you and your fiancé.