Monthly Archives: October 2014

The Wedding Heel Gets Footloose and Fancy-Free

One of the amazing things about living in New York City is that there’s no point in fretting about what you’re wearing or how you’re wearing it; there’s always someone else that took a much bigger fashion risk. For example, I was at an art exhibition opening at the Brooklyn Art Museum for Killer Heels. One patron was wearing a purple cape, another dressed like Colonel Sanders and someone else was wearing wire boxes for a hat. In New York City, anything goes when it comes to fashion. And so should it be as a bride, even if you’re not in New York City. For all the pomp and circumstance and Benjamins that go into dressing for the big day, why not take a leap of faith with your footwear? After all, most people won’t see your shoes underneath that long gown. And it’s a little extra fun knowing you’ve bucked the traditional white satin. Heels? Forget about them! They’re just going to come off eventually anyway as you dance into the night. Here are some awesome alternative wedding shoe ideas so your feet and your fashion can be footloose and fancy-free on your wedding day.

 

How to Give A Kickass Wedding Toast

Not to leave you hanging with how to give the worst wedding speech, here’s some bridesmaids-movie-quotes-9good advice so you can give the most kickass speech ever.

  1. Welcome Everybody and Introduce Yourself: A well-structured speech will always have a warm introduction and introduce you so they know what relationship you have to the newlyweds.
  2. Give Thanks: Give thanks to the big guy in the sky, the weather, and the little people like the caterers or anyone that helped make the special day possible.
  3. Always Stay Positive: Luke Wilson was hilarious when he gave his disastrous speech at Will Ferrell’s wedding in Old School, but only the movies can pull off negative speeches and still be funny without offense. Positive or inspirational speeches pump up the crowd, good vibes will translate to good times at the wedding. Nobody likes a Debby Downer.
  4. Ignore the Jerks Who Talk During Your Speech: Nothing good comes from stopping the speech midway to call out the people with poor manners and attention spans (and there’s a good chance others will do it for you, if that’s the case thank those people and play off the moment by just smiling or giving a quick joke). Never go angry.
  5. Tease (Only If There’s A Compliment in There): I recently gave a speech at my best friends wedding, I teased her family how they kept on stealing the tissues I had intended for the bride but it was adorable because they were so sweetly emotional and showed how much they loved the couple (there was barely a dry eye at the ceremony). They had a good chuckle at my observation. Any teasing that’s not complimentary or positive should be scrapped.
  6. Keep It Short: Attention spans are short at a weddings, everyone just wants to get to the steak dinner, open bar and dance floor. If it’s too long people will just start talking over you and no one is going to feel good about that.
  7. Toast: Cap off your speech by asking everyone to raise his or her glasses to the newlyweds. Maybe sneak in a short blessing too.

Knocking up or knocking out baby making wedding traditions

Whether or not to invite kids to a wedding is a one decision, but the bigger polls_baby_bride_0958_923980_poll_xlargedecision is whether not to practice superstitious wedding traditions that try to conceive a baby. The Feminist Bride has established that there are nine wedding traditions that exist in order to get the bride pregnant, now we’re going to provide nine modernized versions of these traditions so getting knocked up is more of an open ended choice.

F-Bombs for Feminism: Princesses Will Not “Let Inequality Go”

Princesses are yelling “Fuck No, I Won’t Let It Go!” when it comes to inequality. Screen shot 2014-10-22 at 1.30.02 PMNor should they! FCKH8.com, a “for-profit T-shirt company with an activist heart and a passionate social change mission” that focuses on anti-discrimination, is using f-bombs yielding princesses to talk about women’s inequality. Aside from the over the top acting, it sends a powerful message that shows how sexism affects women of all ages. I especially loved the ending when they talked about how gender roles hurt men too; and I fell over laughing when one princess was making it rain in the swear jar. They totally put it into perspective when the video asked, “What’s more offensive: a little girl saying ‘fuck’ or the evil fucking sexist ways society treats girls and women?”  

How to Give the Worst Wedding Speech Ever

Here are a few tips on how to give the worst wedding speech ever. (Or here’s what not to do…)

The Bigger the Engagement Ring, The Bigger the Divorce?

Ever find yourself jelly over someone’s massive diamond engagement ring? o-BAD-ENGAGEMENT-RING-facebookCovet not my friend, because two dudes from Emory University did an online economic study of 3,000 married individuals (from mTurk) to see if the size of an engagement is a correlated to divorce rates. Seems it is…

Show Me the Money! Wedding Traditions without the Wage Gap

When it comes to banking on the perfect wedding no one wants to feel like what business woman with lots of moneythey’re doing is perpetuating wage inequality. Sadly, The Feminist Bride calculated that there are, in fact, wedding traditions that sprung directly from the wage gap and people’s historical lack of faith in women’s economic earning power. Rather than spend your time in traditions that are a bad investment, let’s financially reform them.

Sexy Halloween Costume ≠ Slutty Woman

Comedian Eliza Skinner has some wickedly awesome sage advice about how to tell the different between a sexy halloween costume and a slutty one. So as you ponder this year’s halloween costume, consider that it’s the women underneath that makes a difference and the person who calls her slutty – is probably going home alone on October 31st. #BanSlutoween

Wedding Traditions that Want to Get You Pregnant

Get ready, we’re gonna get briefly political and then sexy. Yes, pregnant-bride-dressyou should be confused and slightly intrigued right now.

Ever wonder why some people like to argue that marriage is only “between a man and a woman?” Would you believe that the statement is not necessarily about who has a right to marry, but more of a pretext to what marriage is supposed to be for? We’re talking baby making.

Feminist Fashion Friday: Karl Lagerfeld’s Paris Runway – Feminist or Fail?

As a proud feminist, I probably naturally strut my stuff. I mean, who wouldn’t? When feminists protest it’s usually causational, like as a result of the Hobby Lobby verdict, fighting for birth control, abortion access or a fair wage. And it’s in front of government buildings or ground zero for the issue – not on the runway.

Parody Video: If Men Experienced Accessing Birth Control Like Women

What if men had to go through the same hoops as women to get birth control? Check out this feminist role-reversal video that highlights what double standards women go through regarding medical insurance, pharmacy prescriptions policies and attitudes from men. I bet men would be upset too!

The Wage Gap in Wedding Traditions? Say It Ain’t So…

It’s hard to believe wedding traditions could be tied to something so nasty as the wage gap. wedding_moneyThat sparkly diamond is supposed to make you feel like a perfect bride under all those layers of satin and waterproof makeup. How could bringing home less than your fair share from the workplace possibly play into the happy tidings of your wedding day? Sadly, it’s totally true. (This is why we also have to write advice like How to Stay Sane While Planning A Wedding.)

Hold up: Is the Term ‘Bridesmaid’ Kind of Sexist?

Check out my article on Zooey Deschanel’s lifestyle website HelloGiggles.commaxresdefault

“Being a bridesmaid has always been a coveted spot for women. It’s right up there with the titular role of BFF. But what if I told you being called a bridesmaid was really the linguistic equivalent of frenemy? It’s hard to believe, but hear me out.”