Culture
Feminist Fight for Change, Not The Wedding Bouquet
(This post first appeared 4/17/2010) Come July, I am marrying a man, I will wear white, I will 
even wear high heels (for at least a portion of the wedding) and I call myself a feminist. As a bride and a feminist, my goal is to dissect the formal, patriarchal institution of weddings in order to modernize the practice and align with current women’s rights. So, because this is a topic that I have been actively thinking on for months, it came as no surprise to me when Jessica Valenti, feminist and author of Full Frontal Feminism and the website www.Feministing.org, announced her marriage to a man and her intention to wear a bridal gown. The overwhelming discontent and criticism from Valenti’s feminist readership, on the other hand, was a surprise.
Miss Representation – OFFICIAL MOVIE TRAILER
It’s important to think about how women in relationships and in marriage are portrayed too! Wives are often pitched as nags and ragged or sexy trophies. Brides are crazy, weight obsessed, vain control freaks. Miss Representation – OFFICIAL MOVIE TRAILER – Sundance Film Festival 2011 – YouTube.
Three Women Earn Nobel Peace Prize
It is amazing to see not just one, but three women share the Nobel Peace Prize! Congratulations to Leymah Gbowee, author of “Mighty Be Our Powers,” her memoir of life as a peace activist during Liberia’s horrific civil war; Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, who is Liberia’s president and Africa’s first democratically elected female president; and to the democracy activist, Tawakkol Karman of Yemen, for her activities in Arab Spring. Each woman promoted peace in a non-violent way, while supporting democracy and gender equality.
Book Review: Agnes Smedley’s ‘Daughter of Earth’
Daughter of Earth by Agnes Smedley. An under-appreciated feminist novel, Agnes’s fictionalized personal memoir traverses her impoverished and brutal childhood to her equally straining, political adulthood. Daughter of Earth gives amazing insight into the issues of the working class proletariat during the Depression era. Smedley brings us an eye-opening account of how starvation, extreme poverty, brutal working conditions and a lack of education can shape the emotional and physical experience of an individual. The book also focuses heavily on the social conditions imposed on women from the limitations caused by marriage to a lack of birth control and over populated families, from domestic abuse to sexual freedoms. Aside from the book’s political nature and historical insight, it is a smooth read and a pleasure to read. Smedley should be remembered (and read) just as much as her feminist sisters!
Religion and Marriage
This chart has been circling the Internet. What’s interesting about wedding tradition today is that it is mostly shaped by pop culture and media, whereas back in the day it was influenced mostly by religion. This chart lays out the various verses that relate to marriage, sex and women’s issues. While a lot of these practices are not as commonly practiced, I thought I might address ones that are:
Man + Women (Nuclear Family) bride who could not prove her virginity was stoned to death – this still happens in the middle east and sub-Sahara in what is justified as an honor killing. Honor killings are not limited to stoning but can also include burning, acid burning and other forms of abuse. For example, in Iraq 2007, a 17-year old girl, Du’a Khalil Aswad, was stoned to death in an honor killing because she fell in love with someone outside her religion. She was from a minority Kurdish religious group called Yezidi, and the boy was a Sunni Muslim. Iraqi Security forces stood by and watched as she was dragged into a square and publically flogged until her death. Pools of her blood collected around her body in the middle of the street. Not one person in the crowd tried to save her. The entire event was captured on camera and released on the Internet (Warning: Graphic Violence)
Man + Woman + Woman’s Property – This was called coverture and wasn’t outlawed until 1933.
Man + Woman + Woman + Woman – An estimated 30,000 to 50,000 people live a polygamist lifestyle in the US.
Rapist + His Victim – While no one forced a victim to marry their rapist, one parallel issue that could be drawn is how state abortion laws treat pregnant victims of rape. First, states that outlaw abortions outright are leaving little choice for its constituents, along with the states that limit the victim’s freedom to chose the outcome of their pregnancy and have control over their own bodies.
Male Slave + Female Slave – The Department of Justice estimates that more than 250,000 American youth are at risk of becoming victims of commercial sexual exploitation. Each year an estimated 800,000 to 900,000 human beings are bought, sold, or forced across the world’s borders [2003 U.S. State Department estimate]. Among them are hundreds of thousands of teenage girls, and others as young as 5, who fall victim to the sex trade. in 1999 that more than 200 international matchmaking services operated in the United States, arranging 4,000 to 6,000 marriages annually between American men and foreign women, mostly from the Philippines and former Soviet Union.
Diane Savino On NY Gay Marriage Bill: ‘We Have Nothing To Fear From Love And Commitment’ (VIDEO)
Frenchman Found Guilty for Not Having Sex with His Wife
From Frans Kahn to now a tired middle-aged man, the French are having their own 
sexual revolution as of late. The question is which way is it going?
The Young and the Betrothed – Child Brides
While many of us fret over unimportant issues related to our own weddings or believe that our freedom of choice on how to marry is a sign of progress, we must remind ourselves that equality and humanity in marriage is seldom enjoyed in other parts of the world. From the denial of gay marriage to the following issue of child bride, we must remember that many existing forms of marriage violate basic human rights. It is up to us who are privileged enough to enjoy healthier forms of marriage to not turn our backs on those who still need help.
In Honor of Women’s Equality Day & The 19th Amendment
Could You Have A “Naked Marriage?”
Before you start getting all shy and reserved, this is not about a nudist colony wedding. A “naked marriage” is a new Chinese term to describe newlyweds who forego all the consumerist, expensive tradition of a typical Chinese wedding. Do you think you can strip away all the wedding traditions that require you buy a dress, rings, a lavish ceremony and just marry on your merits of love?
Happy Women’s Equality Day 2013: Don’t Pop The Champagne Just Yet, There’s More Work to Do
On August 18th, women celebrated the ratification of the 19th amendment in 1920 stating that is is unlawful for any United States citizen to be denied the right to vote based on sex. Women have been enjoying the right to vote for 91 years. And today, women are celebrating Women’s Equality Day, which honors not only the 1920 amendment, but also “calls attention to women’s continuing efforts toward full equality.” But don’t pop that champagne just yet, we haven’t accomplished full equality yet.
Why the Movie, ‘Made in Dagenham,’ Is Still Relevant Today
Made in Dagenham is a British docudrama by Director Nigel Cole 
and is based on the true story of 187 female Ford Motor machinists in Dagenham, England, 1968. The female workers, led by Rita O’Grady (Sally Hawkins), unite in a strike after management reclassifies them as “unskilled workers” to justify a lower pay rate. The women take their demand for equal pay all the way to parliament. The movie’s message on women’s ability to overcome a culture that promotes sex discrimination is still as relevant today as it was then. But the movie’s comedic, cutesy tone glossed over the severity of the cause, which brings to light larger issues in non-fiction women’s films.
Meaning of “Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue”
“Something old, something new,
Something borrowed, something blue,
And a silver sixpence in her shoe.”
Ever wonder what this rhythmic superstition meant? While no bride should ever feel the need to be superstitious on her big day, these bridal superstitions where there to add a little extra karma to the special day. Bottom line is though, feminist brides don’t need superstition to ward off bad juju or collect extra luck; you’ve thought long and hard and just know in the pit of your stomach you’re making the right choice to marry and who you marry. Nonetheless here’s the background on this little ditty.
Time to Get Hysterical over New Women’s Movie, “Hysteria”
Ah, I can’t wait to see this! And I can’t wait to write all about it, stay tuned.
Feminist Bride TV Show Review – Bridalplasty
Bridalplasty (TV Series 2010) – I’m a little behind my wedding TV, but I don’t think I’m missing out on too much with E!’s 2010 show, Bridalplasty. In this reality show competition, brides create a “wish list” of physical things they dislike about themselves and want to change. They then compete in order to win that plastic surgery. The last bridalplasty contestant standing wins their dream wedding and a whole new look.
Why Women Change Their Last Names After Marriage
As The Feminist Bride this topic is the most distressing to me. After researching all wedding traditions there are three that earn the top obsolete, sexist and promoting inequality – engagement rings, bridal showers and name change. Now, women are starting to understand that third-wave feminism is about choice, but I have to say that when it comes to name change it isn’t an educated one.
There are three reasons why the tradition of women adopting their spouses names exists.
Feminist Bride Movie Review – 27 Dresses
27 Dresses (2008) – A young women (played by Kathering Heigl) has always been a bridesmaid and never a bride, but the lucky owner of 27 hideous bridesmaid dresses. While the movie is a classic, predictable rom-com and Heigl’s character tends to be a pushover when it comes to the wishes of needy brides, she never manages to attend to her needs (and love life). The movie is a good look at the obscene financial commitment and dedication bridesmaid devote to their engaged friends, but also how totally vain and based in consumerism it can be as well. Director: Anne Fletcher (Subject: Bridesmaid, Consumerism, Love, Money, Vanity, Clothes)
Feminist Bride Movie Review: Dangerous Beauty
Dangerous Beauty (1998) – Based on the 16th century true story of Veronica Franco who falls in love but can’t marry the object of her affections due to a lack of a dowry. With no marriage prospects, she’s faced with the decision to either enter the convent or become a courtesan. She chooses the life that provides her access to education, independence and the power of expression and articulation, as opposed to the cloister or wifehood which forbids women an education, basic intellectual rights and keeps them as subordinate creatures. Her beauty and smarts win over the hearts (and beds) of most of Venice’s aristocrats, but after Venice faces war and then the plague she is accused of witchery and causing the downfall of Venice.
Chilean President Proposes Rights for Unmarried Partners, Still Opposes Gay Marriage though
An interesting turn by a conservative leader, Chile’s president, Sebastián Piñera, is proposing a law that would give unmarried partners many rights now enjoyed only by married couples. Singlism is a new concept which addresses concerns that laws, employers, etc. discriminate against those who are not married by providing special benefits to those that are. If Chile’s president manages to pass this type of legislation is gives singles and unmarried partners important rights that are currently being unmet. Unfortunately though, Pinera is still against gay marriage, meaning this law would then only hinder and delay it ever being approved.
(Un)Tangled Disney Princess Story Lines
Disney’s princess plots are more predictable than a woman’s period. Girl is oppressed (by magic, evil villain, or station in life), girl decides to challenge adversity, girl meets vagabond boy en route, cue adorable magical or animal sidekick, boy and girl conquer evil villain, boy and girl marry and the live happily ever after. The End. Right?
Petition Asks Bert And Ernie To Get Married On Sesame Street
Despite Ernie, a lifelong bachelor, amorously announcing his preferred partner with the statement, “Rubber ducky you’re the one…I’m awfully fond of you,” people are insisting that Ernie is in fact, partners with his lifelong roommate Bert.
With gay marriage now legal in New York (aka Sesame Street), people are taking a hard look at whether this lifetime arrangement is nothing more than a “Boston Marriage.” Lair Scott with Change.org is starting a petition for Sesame Street to have its first gay couple and marriage. Since Sesame Street has always been a trailblazer in adjusting kids to socially hard issues, it seems only natural that Sesame Street address concerns expressed in the gay community. Of particular concern for Scott is the high incidence of suicides by gay people, who hopes that by creating a gay couple on Sesame Street kids will learn to be “tolerant of those that are different. Let Sesame Street and PBS Kids be a big part in saving many worthy lives.”
An Interracial Fix for Black Marriage – WSJ.com
While everyone is focused on gay marriage rights these days, we forget that the institution of marriage still has a lot of it’s old broken and quirky issues. While the right for interracial couples to marry passed in the 1967 in the case of Loving vs. Virginia (the last state to remove its ban on interracial marriage was South Carolina in 1998).
It seems the relationship battle for black women is still on going. In a WSJ article had an eye-opening account of the black women’s dating prospects,
Michele Bachmann Gets “Flippy-Floppy” on Addressing Gay Rights Debate
Apparently Michele Bachmann, who is attending an anti-gay marriage campaign with National Organization for Marriage (NOM) and is reported to be running Christian counseling centers run with her husband Marcus Bachmann where people practice so-called “pray away the gay” therapy, gets all tight-lipped with less conservative news sources about gay marriage. To them, she describes the issue as “frivolous,” but to eager ears on her side, she’s willing to speak her mind. Seems Ms. Bachmann is only willing to speak with those who will agree with her, sounds like great conflict resolution and diplomatic skills for a potential future leader. She’s also pretty quick to quote constitutional amendments and her belief for freedom, but in her book those freedoms don’t seem to apply to everybody. Seems not everyone is invited to her tea partay.
Gloria Steinem: The Future Fight for Women’s Rights
Whether or not you’re a feminist, you should know the name “Gloria Steinem.” Even if you are a woman and think you don’t agree with feminist politics, your respect is still needed. Feminists, like Steinem, fought for the rights for you have to disagree with them. That thanks, however, is often never said.
HBO is airing a documentary on the Ms. magazine founder, Gloria Steinem: In Her Own Words, that explores her early years to her ones as the face of feminism. It airs August 15th.
Facebook Blamed For Underage Marriage And Teen Pregnancies
It seems Facebook is causing a stir amongst Indonesia’s youth
, by facilitating liasons between very young users, which result in unplanned pregnancies and therefore marriages. Officials from the Gunung Kidul region are claiming the increase in teenage pregnancies align with Facebook’s inception in the country. Interestingly, 66% of divorces caused by social networking, specifically blame Facebook too.
“Facebook is easy access, even in rural areas, and leads to teenage girls getting pregnant outside of marriage,” Gunung Kidul Religious Court junior legal secretary Siti Haryanti told The Jakarta Post.
via Facebook Blamed For Underage Marriage And Teen Pregnancies.
Are Childless Couples More Likely to Divorce?
Since the 1950’s studies show that childless couples are more
likely to divorce then families with children; and the more children decreases the chance of divorce. It seems that the emerging books on this topic, scrutinize over the childless couples a little bit more unfairly then those with kids – because they don’t have kids how could they possibly be as fulfilled compared to those who have them? Creating the notion that kids and a classic family and white picket fence is still the preferred cultural push. But for those who don’t want kids the article had this little ray of hope to share…
Fun Wedding Cultural Fact – The Baraat
Baraat (Hindi: बरात, Urdu: برات) is a bridegroom’s wedding 
procession in North India and Pakistan. In North Indian communities, it is customary for the bridegroom to travel to the wedding venue (often the bride‘s house) on a mare, accompanied by his family members.
Military gay couples still won’t enjoy benefits
Despite the recent repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” gay service 
members still face considerable discrimination. While other states are providing equal marriage benefits to gay couples as we speak, the US military and Pentagon will maintain its stance on gay marriage based on the “1996 federal Defense of Marriage Act — which defines marriage for federal program purposes as a legal union between a man and woman” Meaning legal gay marriages will not and can not access the same rights as straight married couples through the Defense Department such as subsidized costs of medical care, travel, housing and other living expenses.
Thin wife key to happy marriage!
A recent study revealing that skinny wives, or wives with a lower BMI 
(Body Mass Index: a person’s height to weight ratio) enjoy happier marriages. Funny thing is there’s an increase in women who marry shorter men… So before you start handing your bowl of ice cream over to hubby, the University of Tennessee study only used a sample group of 169 married couples under 35, which is not much of a study to make serious conclusions. But thanks for putting it out anyway, your inadequate findings should really help wives feel better about their body image and state of their marriage.
To read more: Thin wife key to happy marriage! – Times Of India.
Dating Website Creates New Post-College Profession – Sugar Baby
A website called SeekingArrangements is causing a huge stir because it hooks up
college kids, down on their luck economically and professionally and in desperate need of some student loan assistance, with wealthy sugar daddies. Since the site acts merely as a facilitator and connection to these two people and because there is no talk or money negotiation on the site (that is an arrangement left to the couple once they meet) the site is walking a barely legal fine line.
NJ Has A New Situation for Same-Sex Marriage Rights
New Jersey is D.T.A.G.M.! In Jersey speak that’s “Down To Approve Gay Marriage.” In a recent poll by the Democratic firm Public Policy Polling, found 47% of voters wanted to legalize marriage between same-sex partners, while 42% wanted to keep it illegal. It’s pretty great that Jersey’s neighbor to the north, New York, just approved gay marriage andJersey’s neighbor to the south is also jumping on board so that Jersey should feel the squeeze to do the same.
Pet Names Are for Pets
If I have one consistent shortcoming, it is that I am horrible at names. 
At a party, I am that person who greets most everyone with a “Heyyy…youuuu.” I can tell you what you were wearing, talking about and drinking, but I can’t tell you what the hell your mom wrote in your underwear. It’s a terrible habit, but sometimes it’s not my fault.
Zara Phillips to keep maiden name after royal wedding to Mike Tindall
I was just in Edinburg and all I saw was a bunch of drunk hen and stag parties! This would have been much more exciting. Zara Phillips recently married England
rugby union player Mike Tindall, and has elected to keep her maiden name because she thinks it will be better for her equestrienne career. One news source claimed that keeping her maiden name was not “any kind of feminist statement” but I highly disagree. A woman keeping her name in support of her career, her heritage, and family just to name a few reasons is a great reason (and a feminist one I might add, because it is a choice that honors one woman and promotes all of them).
Maryland’s Gov. Martin O’Malley Pushes for Same-Sex Marriage
(CNSNews.com) – Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley (D), a Catholic, said he supports gay marriage and added that the
recent bill passed in New York showed that the government could redefine marriage while still protecting religious liberty. Governor Martin O’Malley and Lt. Governor Anthony G. Brown decided to sponsor same sex marriage legislation in the 2012 legislative session.
Young adult dating trend slows road to marriage | Reuters
Tired of overnight bags? Arguing with your partner that you need a drawer for your toothbrush or tampons? Chances are if your relationship is somewhere between dating and cohabiting you’re doing all these things. If the monotony of schlepping your crap from work to your boy/girlfriend’s house is getting old or if you can’t stand the thought that you’re wasting a lot of money on rent for a place you in never sleep in, don’t worry academia nerds have created a name for spending more time at someone else’s apartment than your own, you’re having a “Stayover Relationship” So next time you’re irritated about doing the adult walk of shame, feel better, there’s a better name for it now!
To read more of the Reuters article, click on link – Young adult dating trend slows road to marriage | Reuters.
FB Movie Review: An Affair to Remember
An Affair to Remember (1957) – I had only heard of 
the movie, An Affair to Remember, through the quintessential romance movie of the 90’s, Sleepless in Seattle. Rosie O’Donnell and Meg Ryan cry over the sentimental romance – how love can suddenly find you, change your life and just as quickly disappear under unfortunate circumstances. And I will admit, I didn’t understand (like the guys in that film) what the big deal was…until now.
Judd Apatow Puts on Some Panties in ‘Bridesmaid’
Having turned 18 at the birth of the Sex and the City era, college and adulthood came at a time when sexual expression and alcohol could be worn like Girl Scout badges, proudly and with accomplishment. It was the best of times (that I could remember) and the worst of times (that were gladly hazy). The graduates of the millennium celebrated leaving the sophomoric comedy of American Pie and blissfully embraced the gratuitous ass shots of Will Ferrell. And just as quickly as we got on “double-secret-probation” in college,” we just as quickly matriculated from it. Now working stiffs and pissed off about having $160,000 in college debt, Judd Apatow appeared to ease our pain with raunchy and outrageous humor.