Wedding Planning

Absurd Cake Toppers

bride-and-groom-cake-toppersMy wedding cake topper was also my “something old.” It was over 30 years old and last saw a cake at my parents’ wedding in the 70s. I spent at least an hour trying to bleach it white. Before deciding to use it, I debated between going simple with just flowers since I had been both tickled and horrified at modern cake toppers. Seriously, have you seen them lately?

Hey Brides, Harvard Says Your Future Success Depends on Your Future Hubby…

groom-lifting-bride-over-her-head-in-fieldStop for a minute and ask yourself these questions: Do you have an egalitarian relationship? Are you on the path to achieve your career goals? Have you ever put your guy’s career before your own? And does he put forth as much effort as you in the home? Your honest answers, not your ideal ones, are important. (And for the record, no, this article is not about how to ride the coattails of your hubby, as if…)

Harvard Business School study reports that both male and female HSB graduates, who believe in parity in the workforce and in relationships…don’t actually practice it. This is an incredibly important discrepancy because it negatively impacts women’s professional achievements, particularly in top management positions. That’s why answering honestly was so important, most of us believe we have egalitarian relationships, but per the study that’s not really the case.

Where Are All The Bridesmen and Groomswomen?

Dominique as a groomswoman next to her best friend, the groom

Dominique as a groomswoman next to her best friend, the groom

Ladies, if your best friend is your brother, or that awkward college guy who naively explained that Beirut is a place, not a beer game, or your male coworker who loves afternoon Hot Pockets almost just as much as you and you’re getting married to…someone else, why not put that best friend in your wedding party?

Gentlemen, if your best friend is your sister, or cousin who encouraged you to embrace your affinity for knitting infinity scarves, or your former high school prom date who danced so awkwardly to House of Pain’s Jump Around that you found a platonic, kindred spirit and you are also marrying someone else? Then you, too, should feel free to put them in your wedding party.

Walking in The Steps of A Woman (Short-Animation)

This short animation, Sidewalk (2013) by filmmaker, Celia Bullwinkel will touch the hearts of all the ladies out there. I thought this animation did a great job depicting the often too public stages of personal change, both physical and mental that women experience throughout their lives. And it even put its two cents in regarding street harassment. There’s a happy ending though as the heroine passes on her own life lessons of loving yourself!

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Solange Knowles, Caped Crusader of Avant-Garde Wedding Fashion 

Contributing Writer: Sally Pillay

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Feminist Fashion Friday: With a modern twist of unique elegance, Solange Knowles and longtime boyfriend Alan Ferguson married over the weekend. Pair that with a star-studded guest list including the one and only Queen B and husband, Jay-Z, and you’ve got my attention.

Counting at least six bridal outfits through the wedding weekend, Solange started at her rehearsal dinner with a v-neck, bell sleeved dress by Ellery with golden Loeffler Randall heels. This ensemble was just a mere taste of the fashion delicacies to follow!

Prior to their wedding ceremony, Solange and Alan arrived on two white bicycles. Solange donned a sexy low cut Stéphane Rolland jumpsuit with a cape. (LOVE!) The groom sported a white Lanvin suit. (Way to make an entrance!) Now the only thing that can get me more excited than a bride bucking traditional trends is a bride in a jumpsuit and a cape. Pair that with a bicycle, and I’m speechless.

Should You Have An Engagement Party?

I love parties. I love dressing up for parties. I love being the hostess with keep-calm-were-engagedthe mostess. I love playing bartender. I love mingling. And I love themed parties. So if you asked me whether or not it’s worth having an engagement party, I would clearly answer, “meh, it’s not really necessary.”

Here’s the thing – weddings are never singular events. There’s the shower, the bachelor or bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner, the ceremony, the reception and maybe there’s an after party. It’s like asking if you really need a sixth finger; I could…but it’s not necessary. Not to mention, that if you’re involved in the wedding…forget having a social life until the fiancés say. “I do.” Each event requires time, energy, money and travel. Everyone is happy to celebrate this new stage of your life, but after awhile it’s like seeing the same Broadway play for the 11th time – getting up to give a standing “O” for the umpteenth time is not going to have as much energy as it did the first.

10 Other Wedding Traditions Worth Skipping

Oh yes there’s more! In addition to the 10 The Feminist Bride has already covered, cat-throwing-brideshere are 10 more wedding traditions worth skipping. Don’t worry there are solutions for all of them! And yes, that’s a bride throwing a cat…and no, it’s not on this ten list. Sorry cats.

Admitting Groomsmen Have It Better Than Bridesmaids

I know that by saying I’d rather be a groomsman over a bridesmaid, it sounds like I’m confirming the old Wedding33Freudian theory that feminism is nothing more than penis envy. Don’t worry Freud, this has nothing to do with penises or mommy issues. I’m merely trying to bring attention to that fact that the role and responsibility of being a bridesmaid has completely turned to the dark side. Bridesmaids used to enjoy the minimal involvement that groomsmen experience today. Nowadays the difference in the responsibilities of the two are a lot like the wage gap; both sexes enjoy the same status and title but bridesmaids are expected to do a hell of a lot more for the same job! I’m campaigning that bridesmaids and groomsmen responsibilities be on par with each other.

Managing a Bridal Meltdown     

Bridezillas aside, a bridal meltdown can happen to anyone. It will undoubtedly bridezilla-wedding-stressbe over something worthy of emotion or either a tantrum over nothing. (Though please know that being a bride or groom does not give you the right to have one or be a bridezilla.) Meltdowns can come in all shapes, sizes and reactions. Regardless, as a best lady, mother of the bride, fiancé, wedding planner or consultant, it’s best to brace yourself for the storm. Like any hurricane, no one can predict with accuracy what class it will be and how much it will huff and puff until it tries to take everyone down. As a bridesmaid (Best Lady) or whomever though, contrary to popular belief, there’s no reason to go down with the ship.

Tig Notaro Performed a Bold Comedy Set Topless | Bitch Media

Check out my article on Bitch Media about how Tig Notaro went

Tig Notaro comedy cover for LIVE!

Tig Notaro comedy cover for LIVE!

topless, post mastectomy with no reconstructive surgery on stage at New York Comedy Festival. In my personal opinion, it was a bit that rivaled her now-legendary 2012 performance at Largo and sent a powerful message about body images and acceptance. Go Tig!

Is Choosing to Take Your Husband’s Surname Really Feminist?

I winced when I heard Ms. Amal Alamuddin was changing her name to Mrs. George Clooney. She became yet another example of a women choosing for her identity to be represented by a man’s after marrying. Here’s how her decision, one shared by the majority of women, is vastly more complicated than it seems.

Creating Diamond Engagement Rings From Cremated Ashes

Forget proposing with Grandma’s diamond ring, what about proposing with Artist, Damien Hirst's Diamond SkullGrandma’s ashes as the diamond ring? Yes, you heard me right. A Swiss company called Algordanza will take the cremated remains of your beloved one and synthesize a diamond between 0.25 and 1.0 carats. Not only is a diamond forever, but now, so is Grandma or Great Uncle Ezekiel or your beloved cat Mr. Jenkins (alright, maybe not Mr. Jenkins, turns out they don’t allow pets). Gives new meaning to DIY.

The Modern Equation for Getting Married

Tired of winking at people online? Starting to wonder why you’re friends with some Jessa, from HBO's Girls, getting marriedpeople if their other friends are the duds they keep setting you up with? Finding yourself starring over to the kitchen, wondering what type of hors d’ oeuvres they’ll be serving after the wedding ceremony? Focused on your career, grad school or the number of dates you have lined up? Thinking you can have it all and NOT be married? Or are you just holding out for the perfect one and the perfect conditions?

You are not alone my friend.

The Wedding Heel Gets Footloose and Fancy-Free

One of the amazing things about living in New York City is that there’s no point in fretting about what you’re wearing or how you’re wearing it; there’s always someone else that took a much bigger fashion risk. For example, I was at an art exhibition opening at the Brooklyn Art Museum for Killer Heels. One patron was wearing a purple cape, another dressed like Colonel Sanders and someone else was wearing wire boxes for a hat. In New York City, anything goes when it comes to fashion. And so should it be as a bride, even if you’re not in New York City. For all the pomp and circumstance and Benjamins that go into dressing for the big day, why not take a leap of faith with your footwear? After all, most people won’t see your shoes underneath that long gown. And it’s a little extra fun knowing you’ve bucked the traditional white satin. Heels? Forget about them! They’re just going to come off eventually anyway as you dance into the night. Here are some awesome alternative wedding shoe ideas so your feet and your fashion can be footloose and fancy-free on your wedding day.

 

How to Give A Kickass Wedding Toast

Not to leave you hanging with how to give the worst wedding speech, here’s some bridesmaids-movie-quotes-9good advice so you can give the most kickass speech ever.

  1. Welcome Everybody and Introduce Yourself: A well-structured speech will always have a warm introduction and introduce you so they know what relationship you have to the newlyweds.
  2. Give Thanks: Give thanks to the big guy in the sky, the weather, and the little people like the caterers or anyone that helped make the special day possible.
  3. Always Stay Positive: Luke Wilson was hilarious when he gave his disastrous speech at Will Ferrell’s wedding in Old School, but only the movies can pull off negative speeches and still be funny without offense. Positive or inspirational speeches pump up the crowd, good vibes will translate to good times at the wedding. Nobody likes a Debby Downer.
  4. Ignore the Jerks Who Talk During Your Speech: Nothing good comes from stopping the speech midway to call out the people with poor manners and attention spans (and there’s a good chance others will do it for you, if that’s the case thank those people and play off the moment by just smiling or giving a quick joke). Never go angry.
  5. Tease (Only If There’s A Compliment in There): I recently gave a speech at my best friends wedding, I teased her family how they kept on stealing the tissues I had intended for the bride but it was adorable because they were so sweetly emotional and showed how much they loved the couple (there was barely a dry eye at the ceremony). They had a good chuckle at my observation. Any teasing that’s not complimentary or positive should be scrapped.
  6. Keep It Short: Attention spans are short at a weddings, everyone just wants to get to the steak dinner, open bar and dance floor. If it’s too long people will just start talking over you and no one is going to feel good about that.
  7. Toast: Cap off your speech by asking everyone to raise his or her glasses to the newlyweds. Maybe sneak in a short blessing too.

Knocking up or knocking out baby making wedding traditions

Whether or not to invite kids to a wedding is a one decision, but the bigger polls_baby_bride_0958_923980_poll_xlargedecision is whether not to practice superstitious wedding traditions that try to conceive a baby. The Feminist Bride has established that there are nine wedding traditions that exist in order to get the bride pregnant, now we’re going to provide nine modernized versions of these traditions so getting knocked up is more of an open ended choice.

F-Bombs for Feminism: Princesses Will Not “Let Inequality Go”

Princesses are yelling “Fuck No, I Won’t Let It Go!” when it comes to inequality. Screen shot 2014-10-22 at 1.30.02 PMNor should they! FCKH8.com, a “for-profit T-shirt company with an activist heart and a passionate social change mission” that focuses on anti-discrimination, is using f-bombs yielding princesses to talk about women’s inequality. Aside from the over the top acting, it sends a powerful message that shows how sexism affects women of all ages. I especially loved the ending when they talked about how gender roles hurt men too; and I fell over laughing when one princess was making it rain in the swear jar. They totally put it into perspective when the video asked, “What’s more offensive: a little girl saying ‘fuck’ or the evil fucking sexist ways society treats girls and women?”  

How to Give the Worst Wedding Speech Ever

Here are a few tips on how to give the worst wedding speech ever. (Or here’s what not to do…)

The Bigger the Engagement Ring, The Bigger the Divorce?

Ever find yourself jelly over someone’s massive diamond engagement ring? o-BAD-ENGAGEMENT-RING-facebookCovet not my friend, because two dudes from Emory University did an online economic study of 3,000 married individuals (from mTurk) to see if the size of an engagement is a correlated to divorce rates. Seems it is…

Show Me the Money! Wedding Traditions without the Wage Gap

When it comes to banking on the perfect wedding no one wants to feel like what business woman with lots of moneythey’re doing is perpetuating wage inequality. Sadly, The Feminist Bride calculated that there are, in fact, wedding traditions that sprung directly from the wage gap and people’s historical lack of faith in women’s economic earning power. Rather than spend your time in traditions that are a bad investment, let’s financially reform them.

Sexy Halloween Costume ≠ Slutty Woman

Comedian Eliza Skinner has some wickedly awesome sage advice about how to tell the different between a sexy halloween costume and a slutty one. So as you ponder this year’s halloween costume, consider that it’s the women underneath that makes a difference and the person who calls her slutty – is probably going home alone on October 31st. #BanSlutoween

Wedding Traditions that Want to Get You Pregnant

Get ready, we’re gonna get briefly political and then sexy. Yes, pregnant-bride-dressyou should be confused and slightly intrigued right now.

Ever wonder why some people like to argue that marriage is only “between a man and a woman?” Would you believe that the statement is not necessarily about who has a right to marry, but more of a pretext to what marriage is supposed to be for? We’re talking baby making.

Parody Video: If Men Experienced Accessing Birth Control Like Women

What if men had to go through the same hoops as women to get birth control? Check out this feminist role-reversal video that highlights what double standards women go through regarding medical insurance, pharmacy prescriptions policies and attitudes from men. I bet men would be upset too!

The Wage Gap in Wedding Traditions? Say It Ain’t So…

It’s hard to believe wedding traditions could be tied to something so nasty as the wage gap. wedding_moneyThat sparkly diamond is supposed to make you feel like a perfect bride under all those layers of satin and waterproof makeup. How could bringing home less than your fair share from the workplace possibly play into the happy tidings of your wedding day? Sadly, it’s totally true. (This is why we also have to write advice like How to Stay Sane While Planning A Wedding.)

Hold up: Is the Term ‘Bridesmaid’ Kind of Sexist?

Check out my article on Zooey Deschanel’s lifestyle website HelloGiggles.commaxresdefault

“Being a bridesmaid has always been a coveted spot for women. It’s right up there with the titular role of BFF. But what if I told you being called a bridesmaid was really the linguistic equivalent of frenemy? It’s hard to believe, but hear me out.”

On Beauty: What NOT to Say to A Woman

An awesome group of Hollywood women gathered at a roundtable discussion with The Hollywood Reporter. Mindy Kaling (The Mindy Project), Emmy Rossum (Shameless), Zooey Deschanel (New Girl), Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie), Taylor Schilling (OITNB) and Kaley Cuoco (The Big Bang Theory) spoke openly about the backhanded compliments people often give to actresses. Though I will argue that every day folk hear similar things all the time. So kudos to these women for putting it out there and calling BS.

Love is Love: The Most Beautiful Depiction of Marriage Equality (VIDEO)

Grab a box of tissues. This is probably the most heartwarming, poetic video I’ve ever seen about couples, relationships and families, and even better it highlights the beauty of same-sex ones. The video is courtesy of Freedom to Marry and Richard Blancothe 2012 presidential inaugural poet, wrote the poem “Until We Could.” Blanco’s poem was commissioned to mark the 10-year anniversary since Massachusetts granted same-sex couples the right to wed,” The Dailey Beast.

Easy Ways To Green Your Wedding

Guest Contributor: Kate Harrison

Most brides don’t realize how wasteful the average wedding can be, but the reality is that the average wedding produces 300-500 pounds of garbage and 63 tons of CO2. When added up, the annual impact of American weddings is like 8.3 million cars driving on the road for a year! The good news is that it has never been easier to go green, and with so many great options, you no longer need to sacrifice your style, theme or budget to it. The trick is keeping an eye on the environment as you move through the planning process and making simple substitutions when possible.

Creating Social Good with Your Wedding Registry

http://www.kiva.org/lend/753659

Image: KIVA. In this Group: Saraswati, Tikeswar, Sapuri, Manorama, Ketaki, Upasi, Sumanti, Jamuna, Sumitra

Feeling like a traditional gift registry is an egregious imposition to ask for more stuff that you already have? Or an archaic gendered tradition? Suspicious that asking for money as a gift throws every etiquette book into a blazing book burning fire? Here’s an option that gives the newlyweds tremendous good karma  - consider a micro finance registry. The beauty of having guests contribute to micro finance loan account is that it generously gives to those in more immediate need and then eventually the newlyweds when their the ones in need. To read more about this idea, check out The Feminist Bride article on Green Bride Guide

Feminist Fashion Friday: Betsey Johnson’s Marriage Equality Runway

I never know what to make of Betsey Johnson. She’s kinda like your great Aunt that’s a total wild card, who curiously resembles your thirteen year old niece, who’s currently finding herself by defying convention. When it comes to fashion, she’s a great reminder of how far fashion can go and how much you don’t have to give a hoot about other people’s opinions so long as you’re happy.

The Most Comprehensive Social Media Wedding Etiquette List Imaginable

The Internet is taking over weddings. Analog Miss Manners probably never 2ee544f1e9b082adc56acbf8443b0d80saw this technological phenomenon coming, so modern couples need new advice on how to use it properly and politely in coordination with your very classy and special day. Without understanding the speed at which information is shared means  technology #fails can easily happen. Here’s some advice on how to navigate the complicated world of wedding social media.

How to Stay Sane While Planning a Wedding – Quarterlette.com

Finding it tough to plan a wedding? Do you think wedding how-to books set unreasonable expectations? 11a.Stressed-BrideWell guess what, those wedding how-to books set brides up to fail by implying that if things don’t go smoothly or perfectly – you’re failing. The problem is the perfect wedding is a Holy Grail quest. Like Don Quixote, Bridezillas can very easily to go mad searching for that elusive perfection. The truth is, it simply doesn’t exist. To learn how to ditch annoying perfect industry standards and get five easy steps on how to stay sane while planning a wedding and come to love being an imperfect bride, check out the article I wrote for Quarterlette.com.

 

17 Celebrities who said, “I don’t,” to the white wedding gown

Here are 17 celebrities who decided to buck the traditional white wedding down one way or another.

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Camilla Parker finally wed Prince Charles in 2005. Her dress is beautiful, though it's explanation is as complicated as her long time princely romance: "She wore an elegant cream silk dress and matching oyster silk basket weave coat. The silk chiffon dress was hemmed with vertical rows of Swiss-made appliqued woven disks. She completed the outfit with pale beige suede shoes with almond-colored toes designed by L. K. Bennet, a Philip Treacy wide-brimmed cream-coloured straw hat overlaid with ivory French lace and feathers, and a purse made from embossed calf leather with a half flap closing and suede lining, from Launer’s “East/West” collection."
« 1 of 17 »

 

SALE ~New Feminist Bride T-Shirts!

Step right up and get yourself or the bride the shirt that shows she’s not just any bride, The Feminist Bride t-shirt, www.TheFeministBride.combut a feminist bride! Being a loud and proud feminist bride will certainly turn a head or two with your dynamic strength, independence and intelligence. Maybe by wearing it you’ll inspire another everyday bride to become a bold and beautiful feminist bride!

A celebratory t-shirt for the bride-to-be that she can wear at her bachelorette, during her fitting, rehearsal ceremony, the day of the wedding, on her honeymoon…basically she should live in this shirt every day for good luck. Just wear it into the shower to save on wash time.  

In this new limited edition batch, all shirts come with cool textured light pink font. T-shirt colors include blue, purple, pink and black. Get yours today on Etsy!

How to be Announced as Newlyweds

Taking your first steps as a child are a big deal, so are the ones you and your spouseLady-with-megaphone-008-e1373245414958 take together as newlyweds. Who wouldn’t want to step off on the right foot into a lifetime of marital bliss? It’s not the actual steps one takes at the reception that matters (though knowing how to walk in high heels under layers of tulle is a feat unto itself); it’s how the Master of Ceremonies introduces the couple that makes a big difference.

Playboy Explains When Catcalling is Okay; It’s Surprisingly…Feminist

Playboy, an unlikely ally in women’s quest to end street harassment, especially Bv_DwnmIMAI130Pbecause they’ve made millions and millions off encouraging men to ogle at women, has done something wonderfully feminist. Hugh Hefner has even claimed we are living in a post-feminist world before, meaning that a chart like this shouldn’t even be necessary. But here we, feminists, are in agreement with Playboy’s work for once. Hell just froze over.

Playboy and graphic designer Shea Strauss have designed an excellent explanatory flowchart (click to see full chart) that answers when it’s okay to catcall a woman. In a sort of choose-your-own adventure game, guys can follow the line that represents his libido and male entitlement the best with options like, “Are you sexually frustrated?” if yes, proceed to “Yeah, I wanna yell sex stuff at people.” It eventually all flows down to “Nope, don’t do it,” and “Yeah, go for it.” There’s a real educative twist to help folks understand that the only case where it’s okay to catcall is when there’s mutual consent (and even then they make clear heckling is an equal opportunity for both sexes) and when it’s an actually kitty. For everyone other instance, it’s not cool.

This chart comes in the wake of other great devices to battle street harassment. There’s the bell Hooks hotline, which provides women a fake number to give to strangers who ask for it. The idea (unfortunately, this reasoning exists) is to safeguard women “because we’re [women] raised to know it’s safer to give a fake phone number than to directly reject an aggressive guy.”

There’s also the Cards Against Harassment, which are business cards that anyone can get and hand out to street harassers to explain how their actions negatively affect women. And Tatyana Fazlalizadeh’s art project, Stop Telling Women to Smile attempts to combat harassment directly on the streets too.

While this great flowchart doesn’t get Playboy out of the doghouse for its years of misogyny, objectification, exploitation and body issues, it is certainly a step in the right direction.

An Engagement Ring’s Second Chance

The idea that diamond engagement rings are bad luck after a failed engagement or marriage 140906-425x282-Return-Engagement-Ringis simply the product of clever jewelry marketing. (Along with the 4 C’s: Cut, Clarity, Color, Cost; two-months salary buy in and just about every other ring tradition.) Jewelers just want you to have an excuse to buy more brand new bling, but what if that didn’t have to be the case?

Dating Solutions on Giving Out Your Phone Number

Finally, there’s a solution for when you don’t want to give your phone number toUntitled-1_copy_2757471b creepy people, but don’t want to be rude either because as the bell Hooks hotline explains, “because we’re [women] raised to know it’s safer to give a fake phone number than to directly reject an aggressive guy.”

Feminist author bell Hooks has created the Feminist Phone Intervention Hotline for anyone to use when faced with the dating dilemma of giving out your phone number to a stranger. When you’re just not that into the suitor, you can just give them the phone number (669) 221-6251.

The Ugly Handiwork of Selfies on Bridal Confidence

Barely anyone in the world can be a hand model like George Costanza on Seinfeld or like David Duchovny on Zoolander, though I bet Melissa McCarthy has really beautiful hands – call it my handy instincts. Trying to live up to their dexterity standards is dangerous, it’s best to just love your paws as they are, but for some soon-to-be brides this is proving a little too difficult.

These are Christa's hands before (left) and after (right) her hand rejuvenation. (Courtesy of Dr. Ariel Ostad) ABC.com

These are Christa’s hands before (left) and after (right) her hand rejuvenation. (Courtesy of Dr. Ariel Ostad) ABC.com

It turns out that some people might love their fiancé and their fancy-pants engagement ring, but they don’t love their hands. And instead of declaring their new engagement news immediately on social media, some soon-to-be brides are headed to the plastic surgeon first.

Reality TV Marries Strangers at First Sight 

What would it take for you to marry a complete stranger?marriedatfirstsight_16x9_1600

In New York City, with a population of 8 million, there are at least 600 people who can’t find a mate worthy of marriage. What’s their solution (or last resort) to this conundrum in the dating digital age? An “extreme social experiment” hosted by FYI TV (part of the A&E network) where four highly educated and trained professionals will match them up with the soul mate they couldn’t find independently. Sounds like a really high end dating service, right? Not quite, the catch is you can only meet this soul mate if you’re willing to marry them sight unseen.

Bummed Out Over Wedding Photo Trends?

I looked up “mooning,” “photography,” and “wedding” in my Miss Manners 7162f1194fb6cd4c3e418da9b07d06acbook in the hopes that Miss M would provide some civil insight into the recent wedding trend of the bridal party baring their derrières for a photo op. Surprisingly, she had no personal opinions on the matter.

Planning A City Slicker’s Themed Bachelorette Party

I love City Slickers (1991) with Billy Crystal; so when my engaged friend and I decided on a ranch IMG_1510experience for her bachelorette party I said yeehaw! Having a bachelorette party where chaps were more appropriate than ChapStick was a wonderful reprieve from the standard b-parties at bars. They still have a lot in common too, so don’t think you’ll be missing out. Still a festive b-party, we naturally wanted to ride some animals – though this time is would be of the four-legged variety.

The Most Feminist Bachelorette Party Imaginable is in Rochester, New York

From Suffragette to Bachelorette, believe it or not, but Rochester, New York is where you can have the most feminist bachelorette party imaginable. It’s true. Ranked as one of the US cities with the best quality of life, it is also home to the women’s rights movement. Any bachelorette party can be feminist because a b-party is really just about women congregating together to celebrate a sister and womanhood in general, but with so Suffragists celebratingmany special women’s activities and locations this is the quintessential one. Having always known of Rochester, I was overwhelmingly impressed with the city during my first visit. From its adorable Victorian era neighborhoods to the Genesee River High Falls, from the preserved architecture to the plethora of museums and the general geniality of the city and the super wealth of American history, needless to say, I have never fallen in love with a city so quickly (then I remembered how cold it gets in the winter and immediately reconsidered my moving there). It also offers a tons of adventurous fun (I covered some options) to balance out its intellectual side – i.e. the perfect place for a feminist bachelorette party. Here’s a list of cultural, feminist and generally fun activities as ideas for your next bachelorette party (you’ll need to rent a car). As a small disclosure, I haven’t done everything but I look forward to one day!

Creating a Socially Responsible Wedding

Fiancés planning a wedding have incredible purchasing power. I’m not just talking about the social_responsibility_1ability to buy two nude ice sculptures in the likeness of the newlyweds for the reception; I’m talking about the kind of purchases and investments that help make the world a better place via your wedding.

Why the Wedding Industry Needs More Pro-Women Ads

Now Pantene has joined the list of for-profit companies that are creating ads that not only empower women but address some very real inherent issues in female culture. Joining GoldieBlox, Aunt Flo, Verizon and Always, Pantene is tackling women’s overuse of the phrase, “I’m sorry.” It’s pretty amazing to see how Sheryl Sandberg’s #BanBossy Campaign has filtered down into other areas. After all the controversy it received, it’s clear that a lot of important people at big women-focused companies were all change, which is why we’re seeing so many of these types of ads. I don’t know about you, but I hope to see many more and in MEN’S advertising too!

Bob Barker on Hobby Lobby Verdict

 Sorry, this is too hilarious (and poignant) not to create. #NotMyBossesBalls

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Fun Feminist Friday: Hilarious Durex Condom Ad

For your fun feminist Friday frills, here’s a hilarious Durex condom ad that only made it so far as Down Under (which given the ad is kinda perfect). You’ll never look at balloon animals the same way ever again. Or at least, kids parties will be a lot funnier now. Remember guys to always use protection!

A Dad’s Best Rules for Dating His Daughter

As a teenager, I dated a ton. I’m not sure if my parents’ had rules related to dating, though I Rules for Dating my Daughterknew fact checking might lead to some answers I did not want. Not wanting to wake the bear, I was sly about it; “friends” would come over a lot until eventually my parents asked about the nature of the friendship and I’d casually say, “Ya, I guess we’re going out.” If I played it cool, they’d be cool. As an adult now looking back, I probably wasn’t so cunning, and the truth was they just trusted me.

Not all girls are so lucky. Even if a girl is responsible, smart and heck, a black belt, there’s still this social distrust over a girl and her adventures in dating. Just recently, photos from chastity balls made big headlines for being beautiful (for the record, I thought they were super creepy). These young girls, barely pubescent, were pledging their virginity to their dads. First, why their dads only and why not make the boys pledge too? Why not protect girls by teaching them how to protect themselves and make smart decisions as opposed to teaching them that someone can only do it for them? Why not teach boys the importance of respecting the bodily autonomy of girls? Those boys will only grow into fathers and the cycle of dating distrust will either recycle itself or stop.

And this entire spring we’ve been inundated (and rightfully so) with news warnings that the state of campus rape crisis management is deplorable if not immoral. Victims have been blamed left and right, rapists walk around unpunished, school campuses passively deny any large problems. Even Obama and Biden felt it was terribly necessary to address the issue and change the way we respond to rape.

There’s a men’s t-shirt that’s been circulating around the Internet that speaks directly to men about the importance of trusting girls when it comes to dating (apparently, it’s a customized shirt from Zazzle). First, it’s awesome because it says “Feminist Father” on it showing that men can be feminists too and send the message this is how you do it! Secondly, it puts the power of choice and control in the hands of the girl, which is how it should be. And third, the second line “You Don’t Make the Rules” directly fights that male entitlement that creates the problems for females in the first place.

Dad’s if there has to be rules for dating your daughter, this is the list you want to follow!

Part 2: Love on Las Vegas Boulevard – Creating a Wedding Experience      

Click to read first Part 1: Love on Las Vegas Boulevard – Finding Zion

Among the Bail bondsmen, pawnshops, liquor stores and Adult Video purveyors on Las Vegas Boulevard, you’ll find the two most famous wedding chapels in Las Vegas, A Little White Wedding Chapel (ALWWC) and the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel (VLVWC).

The Perils of the Pre-Wedding Party

Wedding planning is hard, which is why when it comes down to the last mile of it -

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Courtesy of Garnick Moore Photographers

you just want to party. Life is hard too, which is why when you’ve finished a long workweek and are headed to a weekend wedding – you just want to party as well.

And party you shall. Unfortunately.

Weddings are a great opportunity to cut loose and reconnect with family and friends. And the excitement of it all can culminate the day before the actual wedding. I’m talking about the night-before impromptu pre-wedding party.

The rehearsal dinner is done. Nanna has gone to bed. It’s the fiancés’s last night as single people. The out-a-state guests have settled down at the hotel or local bar. And there’s a post-party in someone’s room, who has decided to forego their wedding gift of expensive whiskey to the party instead.

Everybody has brought their A-game.

The biggest downside to this epic party event is that, if you’re like me, it’s incredibly hard to bring you’re A-game the next day to the wedding when it matters the most. Maybe it has to do with getting older and not being able to rally like one used to, but it sure is a bummer for both yourself and the newlyweds when the energy level at the main event is somewhere between hung-over and Lindsey Lohan.

So how does one manage to still be the life of the party and not a party pooper while making the most of the weekend? Here’s some strategic advice.

  1. Think of the weekend as a marathon, not a sprint.
  2. Don’t surpass the bride and groom in terms of drinks.
  3. Keep on requesting Whitney Houston songs because you want focus on your awesome dance moves.
  4. Make sure to drink water in between whatever exotic cocktail you order.
  5. Come prepared with whatever hangover cure works well for you.
  6. Eat dinner before the pre-wedding party.
  7. Stick to the lower alcohol drinks.
  8. Busy yourself with games and socializing.
  9. Wear your most comfortable shoes so your feet aren’t sore for the wedding.
  10. Don’t skimp on sleep.

Hopefully, this helps you maintain the same enthusiasm to partying and conviction to dancing to Whitney Houston songs at the wedding, as you gave to the night before. Party on my friends; party on.

Bad Bridesmaid Dresses #TBT

In honor of Throw Back Thursday, here are a selection of bridesmaid dresses which in retrospect may not have been such a good choice.

1. Cuz nothing says metallic like the 80s.

Battle of the Bridesmaids

 

 

 

 

 

Bill Murray Crashes Bachelor Party, Offers Advice

I’ve heard of Bill Murray’s surprise exploits, like when he stole a Wendy’s french fry from a imagesguy and subsequently told him, “Nobody’s going to believe you.” And I’m secretly hoping, that I too, bump into him somewhere wondering into a hipster party in Brooklyn.

A bachelor party of Boston College graduates in Charleston, North Carolina had such luck though. Watch it here.

Murray offered this sage advice to the groom before quickly disappearing, “If you have someone that you think is the one … take that person and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all around the world and go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of. And … when you land at JFK and you’re still in love with that person, get married.”

I couldn’t agree more with advice and I couldn’t be more jealous. I would love to have Mr. Murray (or Bill, as we’d soon be on a name to name basis) give a surprise toast for me…basically anywhere, my bachelorette party (“Whose the penis tiara modeled after?”), my wedding (“The open bar is on me!), my honeymoon (“Give it the ole college try!”), the bathroom (“Keep up the good work!”). Though I can’t help but think what female comedian would be equally awesome to give such bachelorette advice…Fey, Pohler, Barr, Handler, Choo, Crawford? If only more comedians or celebrities crashed toasts…

To Read About More Good Speeches!

Speech! Speech! The History of the Wedding Toast

10 Wedding Traditions Worth Skipping

If you’re looking for some real advice as to what type of wedding traditions you should skip, look notumblr_lurk61U2S71r6ahc3o1_500 further. Other lists give fluffy advice and are usually limited to things you buy. This top 10 list gives you wedding traditions that are ripe with unfair conditions like sexism or consumerism which can either be thrown out like a garter or bouquet (#8 & #9) or modernized so it treats everyone a little bit better.

Amy Schumer: Bridal Shower Drinking Games FAIL

Amy Schumer and The Feminist Bride both have a lot to say about bridal showers! Here’s a hilarious bit on the type of ladies that love their bridal shower and all the insane and risqué games they like to play at them.

To read more about feminist bride stuff on wedding showers;

How to Give the Best Wedding Shower Gift

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Beware lame bridal shower games

Bridal Shower Blues

Party Planning: Who’s Booking The Stripper and/or Spa?

Creating A Wedding Party: The False Luxury of Many Friends

Not motivated to plan a wedding?

The UK’s Bachelor/Bachelorette Party: Stags and Hens

Women’s Wage Affects Their Happily Ever After

Brides, what you’re paid will affect your new family’s quality of life. If you want that happily ever after after that perfect wedding, it’s best that you put equal pay on your wedding registry.

Four in ten women are the sole or primary breadwinners in their family. While that sounds like great news, women overall still earn less, which means that even that female breadwinner (and her family) are financially disadvantaged in the larger picture.

Breaking Pregnancy News – Or Not

In case you’re putting the bump before the bouquet or getting pregnant after the party, here’s a cathartic and funny video about the frustrations of finding out if you’re pregnant.

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Signs of Wage Gap in Your Wedding

Did you know that the wage gap has influenced a lot of wedding traditions? Unknown-1When it comes to the things that anyone but the bride pays for like an engagement ring (groom), paying on a date (the guy), the honeymoon (traditionally the groom) or most the wedding (the bride’s family) it’s all a function of women’s wage gap. It stemmed from when they weren’t even allowed to have careers, which meant they had no income for life’s events. Even traditions where money is not involved like the groom asking the bride’s parent’s permission to marry, walking the bride down the aisle and carrying the bride over the threshold all stem from asset issues. As in a women’s only asset was herself and her fertile uterus, which is why those are traditions of exchange (just a different type of currency, because, again, she didn’t have the monetary type).

When thinking about the wage gap and all the debate over it this week, consider how it might affect other areas not just your direct deposit into your bank account. If you’d like to learn more about where women stand in terms of matching men’s earrings, watch the video below. Just remember next time you find yourself with a cumbersome and annoying amount of pennies – every cent counts.

Garter Go or Garter Stay?

Ever watched a groom disappear under the layers of lace and chiffon of a bride’s dress? garter, rustic wedding, Country Chic, rustic chic, barn wedding, wedding shoes, country wedding, san luis obispo photography, crystal shoes, barn reception, central coast california, garter toss, SummerHe’s searching for the promise of an exciting wedding night, while guests wonder what’s really going on as his head is between the bride’s legs. With a drum roll he emerges triumphant, garter in his teeth, smiling. On such an innocent and pure occasion, the garter symbolizes the unspoken privilege of marriage – sex, sex and more sex. It’s a brazen implication in front of family, coworkers and maybe a religious official. But as guests grin and gasp in amusement or feigned horror, one has to wonder, is the garter really appropriate for a wedding?

During a medieval tradition called the bedding ceremony, the bride and groom were escorted by the groomsmen to the newlywed bedchamber. Since any piece of the bride’s garment was considered lucky with the garter as the crème de le crème, the men would subsequently scuffle with the bride to remove the garter. As a result, the bride started preemptively throwing it away.  And thus the garter toss tradition was born because who doesn’t like a good ‘ole medieval groping?

Obviously, the garter is an erotic symbol, yet women throw asexual flowers. During the wedding game, brides shyly laugh and try to push the groom out of her undergarments, whereas the groom seeks the treasured garter using his sexual prowess. Imagine reversing the roles, with the bride sexually aggressive and tossing some tighty whities. Seems raunchy right? It’s a complete double standard to how men and women are allowed to treat sex, yet it’s accepted and practiced at nearly every wedding without a second thought.

Many a fair maiden has pranced around in a garter. It’s a fun, frilly piece of lace meant to be sexy and flirtatious. Other than Victoria Secret models, no one really wears them for functional reasons like holding up your pantyhose and knickers. It serves no practical purpose anymore; instead, promoting the notion that purity and virginity are present, but that the wearer has a friskier side. A perfect cat and mouse chase. Removable chastity.

There are creative possibilities to rethink the tradition more fairly and appropriately without abandoning the garter completely. Consider keeping it private and solely for the wedding night. Removing the garter can be quite the sensual act and will definitely be more fun to keep going without an audience waiting to dance the funky chicken. It could be relegated to a Jack and Jill party where guests will be close friends from the same generation who accept the sexuality of the garter removal and toss. Or for the couple who decides to keep the tradition, think about incorporating something equally sexual for the bride; say, removing her husband’s bow tie with her teeth – that would be talent – or if the couple is very bold, reverse the roles completely now that would be an evocative and witty message.

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Related Links:

Forget The Bouquet, Single Ladies Need to Catch a Break

Feminists Fight over Change, Not the Wedding Bouquet

The View of “For Better or For Worse”

Battle of the Bridesmaids

From the Golden Girls to Sex and the City, groups of women bonded by breasts, baggage and Battle of the Bridesmaidsbiology come together to celebrate being women. This celebratory sorority is most evident when a bride calls together the most important people in her life to be a bridesmaid. Bridesmaids gather to offer advice and support when needed, and laughter and levity when required; yet, brides’ egregious demands have formed the monster called Bridezilla. Suddenly, she treats her nearest and dearest with behavior that borders on verbal and monetary abuse, in what is mistaken as bridal entitlement.

How to Give the Best Wedding Shower Gift

Since 60% of couples live together before marriage and have all the wondrous as-seen-on-tv stuff already, I find the household giving gift stuff redundant. That’s why I give a nice gift certificate from Victoria Secret and something else sexy to the bride (cuz the groom is barely at these things, lame) with a card that reads, “Pots and pans won’t make a marriage, but good sex can.” Because it’s true and is a lot more fun to give than a butter dish. Seems Comedy Central star, Amy Schumer feels that same!

To read more about feminist bride stuff on wedding showers;

Beware lame bridal shower games

Amy Schumer

Bridal Shower Blues

Party Planning: Who’s Booking The Stripper and/or Spa?

Creating A Wedding Party: The False Luxury of Many Friends

Not motivated to plan a wedding?

The UK’s Bachelor/Bachelorette Party: Stags and Hens